All In
by macsquish
Summary: After solving a series of bombings in the Big Apple, Beckett and her team are forced to take a step back for some much-needed rest.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

There was a muted alarm somewhere in the background. Groaning, she turned over and opened her eyes. _Too bright..._ She thought to herself. The alarm was still going. Groggily, she lifted her left hand to slap it shut only to find it no longer there. She found herself hitting the ground instead, and felt a wet, sticky substance on her hands and fingers.

It was red.

Suddenly all in a flash, it came back. She had been chasing a man at the shipyard when he disappeared and a shipping container exploded, sending fire and shrapnel in all directions. _Pull yourself together Kate, you've been in worse situations…_ She thought to herself. She opened her mouth to yell for the boys only to find nothing able to come out except for a violent cough. Ryan and Esposito had taken the route left. She had to find them. _Damn it Castle, you had better stayed in the car this time. _In her haste, she got up too quickly and found herself tumbling back onto the rough concrete. She groaned again and cursed inwardly, hoping her colleagues had better luck catching him than she did. She closed her eyes and counted backwards from three, trying to control the unmistakable anger and frustration that was building up within. She was far from a vindictive woman but even she had her limits. She looked around slowly at the scene, kicking her detective training into high gear.

Something was off. She could feel it down to her bones.

A blur came into view, unsure who it was, she fumbled for her gun and pointed it in its general direction. It seemed to be yelling something... She couldn't make it out at first. It was saying something about... brackets? _Ate brackets_? It came closer and she could focus a little more. It was a man who had a vest on with the word 'WRITER' plastered across. Confident that he was not going to kill her with anything but his childish jokes, she lowered the gun.

_I have to get up_. Trying again, she stumbled and winced in pain. The sticky stuff was spreading. She seemed to have got some on her shoulder and elbow too. She didn't remember wearing a dark red shirt today. That man reached her and concern was written all over his face.

_Fuck._

She closed her eyes and tried to regain her bearings. It was almost impossible to get out the ringing that echoed in her ear. The writer was really close to her, gently feeling her head to check for bleeding. "Castle, I'm fine." She croaked. It was still difficult finding her voice. He offered her a hand and said something that she wasn't able to make out. He was waiting for her to answer and so she shook her head. "I can't hear you Castle."

"Where. Is. Ryan. And. Esposito?" He shouted at her finally. "Kate, you're bleeding."

"They went the other way, right behind that damn shit head." she coughed, trying to get the soot out of her throat.

"What is up with you and explosions? Dear god, Beckett, that's a lot of blood, we have to get you to a hospital." he said frantically.

_"_What I can't… Castle, we need to find Ryan and Esposito." She grimaced as she pushed herself up again, the gravel and debris pushing into her palm. She bolted towards where the boys were last seen. She wiped the sticky red stuff on her pants, staining her jeans dark. As sticky as it was, it was difficult holding a gun with it smeared on her palm.

They found them together.

"Oh my..." Castle trailed off as he appeared at her side, gaping at the injured detectives. Ryan was bleeding from his side. Meanwhile, his partner had blood trickling down his temple and his arm.

"The one time he runs faster than me..." he was muttering while he put pressure on Ryan's wound with one hand. "Castle, I think I dislocated my shoulder... you've got to help me with this." The writer rushed to the young detective's side and pushed on his wound.

When he looked up, a surprise caught his eye. He was far away, lying on top of a few shipping containers. Before Castle could say anything, Beckett already had already left his side and ran left, gun drawn. "Castle, stay!"

She ignored the searing pain as she pounded the pavement, adrenaline rushing through her veins. She leapt up one of the containers, and disappeared on the top. When Castle looked back to Esposito, he was already gone and yelled: "Stay with him, Castle. Stay with him." He felt helpless as he applied more pressure on his friend. Groaning, Kevin Ryan finally came around.

"Castle?" he said and blinked slowly, his blue eyes reflecting the discomfort he was feeling. "What the hell are you doing on top of me?"

"Ryan. Thank god. Okay there's a bus coming. Kate wouldn't listen to me and she ran after that lunatic and Esposito went to flank her." His words came tumbling out. He needed someone to talk to before he went crazy with worry. "But you're going to be fine."

"Right… Jenny is so going to kill me." The young detective's words came sporadically.

"And Esposito. So what do you say? Stop moving and hold still until the ambulance comes and gets us? I mean-

The two heard gunfire from afar and the echo from a vibrating steel box and Castle's heart stopped. _Kate_. He fought the urge to run to her but Ryan needed him to stay and help him stop the bleeding.

"Ryan, I need you to look at me." He struggled to keep the panic out of his voice. "What were you and Honeymilk going to do this weekend? Kevin! Damn it." He searched his jumbled mind for something to keep him wide-awake but before he could blurt the first thing that came to mind, he heard sirens and the paramedics took over. Making sure they were going to be fine with him without his help, he darted towards the direction of the shots.

He found Esposito with his knee on the unconscious perp's back and cuffing him with his uninjured arm. Beckett was crumpled against a red container, gritting her teeth, with her gun ready to fire.

Then Castle remembered to breathe.

* * *

After an excessive amount of testing at Bellevue hospital, it was concluded that they suffered no internal bleeding. Esposito suffered only a few cuts and bruises along with his dislocated shoulder, but they kept him overnight just in case. After a few hours of surgery, Ryan was wheeled back into the hospital room he shared with partner. Esposito was thankful that he was happy he didn't have to break in a new partner. This prompted his girlfriend Jenny to give him a look and slapped him on his uninjured arm.

As for Kate Beckett, she was holed up in a separate room with Captain Montgomery and a Dr. Ivan Grant. Castle paced outside, back and forth, looking through the window and trying to figure out what they were saying. She was getting into a heated argument with the captain, showing her frustration with her hands. Then suddenly, she stopped, squeezed her eyes together and rubbed her temples. The good doctor checked her over and made sure that she was going to be fine. He wrote something down on the clipboard and readjusted her IV drip before turning to leave. The captain followed.

The door opened and he could hear Montgomery: "Beckett, it's just one week. We can handle it without you for a week. I'll be back to check on you."

"Captain." Castle went towards him, "How-

"She'll be fine Castle. She needs some rest and a lot of quiet. I've ordered her to take a week." the older man placed a hand on his shoulder. "Take care of her."

"Yes sir." he nodded and went in. "Kate?"

"Castle." her voice was strained. Her left arm from her shoulder to elbow was wrapped in a thick bandage, as was her right hand. She had a cut on her temple and another on her cheek. As for bruising, she was mostly black and blue. "It looks worse than it is."

"Uh how? You've been wrapped up like the mummy." He was concerned than he let on.

"Lanie's at my apartment right now gathering some clothes. My old ones have holes in them... Or just has too much blood. I'm going to run out of clothes again."

"Well if you stop trying to blow yourself up..." he said, trying to maintain some levity to the situation. He picked up her charts and flipped through them. "No idea what this all means."

"It means that there is no cases for me to investigate for a week."

Esposito appeared at the doorway with his banana bag. "Captain enforced the same with you, boss? One week, no work?"

Beckett gave an exasperated sigh and collapsed back to her bed. He took it as an affirmative then updated the two of them on Ryan. Lanie had came by a little later and dropped off her bag. She didn't leave until she checked her charts and her EKG monitor hooked up by her bedside. By that time, her morphine was taking hold. Unable to struggle against it, she quickly fell into darkness.

_'Castle, stay in the car!" she yelled as she ran towards the cluster of shipping containers. Her gun was drawn and then she saw his smug face smirking at her. 'NYPD!'_

_Flanked by the two detectives, she ran through the maze of boxes, carefully paying attention to her surroundings. A shadow ran through in front of her and she pulled the trigger, only to have the bullets bounce off one of the containers. Beckett signaled the two behind her to corner him from the other side. _

_Then the shipping box in front of her exploded._

She shot up from the bed and recoiled. She looked around. The chair Castle was in was left with a blanket and a pillow. The man himself was outside in the hall talking into his cell in hushed tones.

"No mother, she's fine. Yes I'm fine too... I'm going to take her home when she gets discharged..." he paused, "Well mother you don't have to come home. It's fine. I have it under control. I'll call you if I need... Sure. I'll call you with an update. Bye mother."

"How is Martha?" she said quietly when he walked back into the room.

"Good, fine. Asking about you." he went to her bedside and tucked her back into bed.

"You didn't have to stay you know?" she looked up at him. He had a day's growth on his chin and his blue eyes betrayed the exhaustion he was trying to hide. "You're tired. Go home."

"And let you skip out on me and check out of this hotel without letting me know? I don't think so." she was too tired to argue with him and simply nodded and fell back asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

There was a familiar ringing beside her, and she groggily rolled over and stared at the intrusion.

5AM.

Wonderful. Beckett could vaguely remember the ride between the hospital and her bed, but she was certain Castle had something to do with it. After 2 more days in a haze in that beige hospital room, the doctor had allowed her to leave given that she takes her meds and takes it easy. Grant had scheduled her follow-up next week to make sure there was no brain damage. Castle, at that point, almost made a quip but stopped when she shot him a look. She was about to get ready to head into work but soon remembered she wasn't needed at the precinct. So she collapsed back into the warmth of her bed, for once thankful for the Captain's insistence and closed her eyes.

When she woke again, it was nearing noon. Her hearing was muffled with a slight whine and she closed her eyes, rubbing her temples. Grant had mentioned that this might continue for a few weeks on and off, even if she feels ready to get back to work. _Hopefully, it would be more off than on_. She sighed. Reluctantly, she went to the bathroom to take a shower. She stared into the mirror and examined closely. The abrasions on her brow and her temple were already beginning to heal. They were no longer the angry red colour it was after the explosion. The laceration on her cheek, from a piece of shrapnel, was a little more stubborn. She winced when she touched the back of her head. She sighed, changed her bandages and headed to the kitchen. However, opening up her refrigerator reminded her that she hadn't gone grocery shopping in weeks. The old take out was beginning to grow a new species while the eggs were starting to give off an interesting odour. Giving up, she brewed herself a cup of coffee, grabbed a box of dry cereal and pulled up a book that she had been putting off to read.

But the silence was deafening.

Deep in thought, she stared at her car keys. Looking quickly at her father's watch, then back at the car keys, she took a deep breath and committed. Running to her car before she changed her mind, she started the engine and found herself driving to a familiar red-bricked building. She had parked and was now stalled in the driver's seat, again toying with a thought. _God I'm an idiot._ She sighed and rested her forehead on the steering wheel.

A knock on her passenger side window caused her to jump. Seeing the familiar face of Richard Castle made her smile. "Do you need help getting out of your car?" he said, muted by the closed window.

"No, " she replied as her door swung open, "I'm not you."

"Ha." He said dryly. "What are you doing here? A day off work and you miss me already?"

"Don't flatter yourself." The truth was, she did miss him. His morning coffee with two sugars... "I was in the neighbourhood and I was just seeing if you, Alexis and Martha wanted to grab some brunch."

"It's just me actually." he smiled "Mother is in Martha's Vineyard with Chet, Alexis is on a trip. They'll be back next week. You ran out of food at home didn't you? "

"I didn't have time to do groceries."

"Well, now you do." his smile widened, "let's get you some food."

The pair left the car and walked to the nearby grocery store. The scent of freshly baked bread wafted through the sliding glass doors, re-awakening memories of her and her mother shopping for food on a Saturday morning when she was young. She smiled as she saw that ritual repeated with a little girl watching her mother order some croissants from the baker while her son placed items to her cart when she wasn't looking. Castle tried to read her thoughts as he glanced at her. "Pastries and coffee?" She nodded.

They walked together at the market, down each aisle, easing in and out of conversation. She talked animatedly using her hands to express herself about how she and her mother use to go to the market together, and about stealing more than one sample allowed for customer when she was a child. Castle shared a few anecdotes about Alexis and her harrowing visits to the grocery store. Beckett turned the corner down the frozen foods aisle and picked up a bag of peas.

"Oooh ice cream is on sale." he called out in front of her. His head was already stuck in the freezer trying to figure out which chocolaty bucket to buy.

"Just pick one Castle." She shook her head and rolled her eyes. "If memory serves me correctly, you have tubs upon tubs of chocolate ice cream at your house."

"You forget I live with two women. Oh there we go, triple chocolate. Fantastic." Then tossed it into the cart.

"Is it me who's doing the groceries or you?" Her shopping was quickly filling up with various amount of stuff that Castle had 'mysteriously' added. "I hope you know that I'm not taking any of that stuff home with me."

"Good then that means you'll be coming to my place more often." He said with a grin.

A buzz signaled her to reach to her back pocket, forgetting about her bad arm, she flinched. _Damn it._ "Hey Lanie."

Castle echoed the sentiment.

"Was that hunky writer boy?" She asked. Colour began to creep into Beckett's cheeks. She could practically hear her friend's lips widen into a smile "Am I interrupting something?"

"I'm doing some grocery shopping Lanie. Groceries. As in food."

"You know what else you can pick up right?"

"Not your phone calls?"

"Enjoy your day with Handsome." She said coyly and ended the call.

"Aw, does she miss us?" Castle suddenly piped up.

"When you say us, I'm assuming you mean me, then yes, she misses 'us'." He then threw in some jellybeans he found on sale in the middle of the aisle. "Castle, seriously, what is with you and sugar?"

"It helps me write. And I have a novel to put out." He threw her a knowing look. "So what are you going to do for the next few days if I may ask?"

"I don't know. Catch up on my reading… maybe find a new couch since my last one kind of exploded into a billion pieces... My new place has a little more room so maybe also get a couple of new shelves."

"Don't you have weekends to do this?"

"If you haven't noticed, Castle, I'm usually a little busy on weekends. You know, like running down leads and interviewing witnesses?" She looked absently at her spoils, counting in her head for the amount of money this shopping trip was going to cost her "Just because you get to choose to go home to Alexis on weekends doesn't mean that we all get to. And when I am off, I usually just collapse with a book."

They made their way to the checkout and left with six bags of groceries. Castle was beginning to see Beckett's point about buying too much. They headed back to his apartment but he had trouble opening his front door without dropping one of the bags.

Richard Castle was doing research. There were books and papers strewn across the countertops and a few balls of paper were crumpled in the basket labeled 'For the shredder'. "Sorry for the mess." He piped up. "I'm putting this in the fridge. Make yourself at home."

"Thanks." she said as she offloaded the bags into the kitchen. Beckett walked by his bookshelf, her fingers lingering on each and every book spine. Their owner, who had religiously marked sections with blue, yellow, pink and purple Post-Its, had read them all. Some of them were fading and some were brand new. A few peaked her interest, so she left herself a mental note of the ones she must borrow from him. The man was interested in everything, and every book she came across had their place in his novels. Some had some bearing in the cases that they solved.

Their first case had been a cautious dance between the two of them. She had known men like him- a highflying self-obsessed playboy who just happened to be one of her favourite writers. She was happy to shake him lose after she had told him about the crime and the posing of the bodies. Although the hard-nosed detective had to admit that he was, as much as he was a jackass, charming. So when he stole evidence pertinent to her case, she took even greater pleasure then to arrest him at the New York Public Library. Just when she thought she could possibly grow to like him, the case ended and she thought nothing more of it. That was until the next morning when he appeared at Captain Montgomery's desk with a proposition and weaseled his way back into her life. She did not need a partner. She already had two other detectives at her disposal. Although he had been a good resource and wall to bounce ideas off of, in her mind, he remains that playboy who cared of nothing but him.

Unfortunately and reluctantly, she got to know him.

As months drew on, with every case, he peeled like an onion. She even conceded that he was useful. Who knew playboys had sides? Now she couldn't help but miss his annoying quips when he was off on a book tour or a publicity event and not with her at the precinct. Then there was that amazing kid of his. She picked up black-framed photo of the two of them. Alexis must have been only five, walking with her father's hand wrapped around hers. Richard had leaned slightly to accommodate her. Her heart warmed at the idea of Castle as a father. There was nothing he wouldn't do for her. It almost makes up for his shallowness when he chose his dates. But then there was Kyra. She was unlike the Page Six starlets that he dated or fell into bed with. She was smart, savvy and caring... and despite trying to, very hard to dislike.

"_I didn't know you went for real. Tough breakup?"_ she had said to him as they left the elevator that morning of the bridesmaid's murder. He had been so serious, so forlorn, and so un-Castle-like. To the question, he replied: "_It was a long time ago._"

She moved from his table when she noticed the leather bound ones sitting on the shelf in the corner. There were about 16 of them in total, with no titles in its spine. She tipped one out and carefully slipped the leather strip out of its holster holding in its contents.

In Heat

Cold Heat

Heat of the Night

Heat Wave.

It was the manuscript to _Heat Wave_, handwritten with a black fountain pen. She flipped through. There were a few pages missing, as there were tear marks on the binding. She could see he didn't particularly enjoy those pages and ended up throwing them out. Beckett reminded herself that the author, as much as he was a techno-geek, still preferred the traditional way of writing. There were scribbles of notes on the side margins. Suddenly, she felt as if she was intruding and reading his love letters, and she quickly placed it back on the shelf.

"Find anything interesting?" He said, breaking her out of her reverie. He held out a cup of coffee.

"Just reading through what you have." She couldn't help but smile at him. "What were you up to today before I rudely interrupted your day?"

"Nothing much. Writing or researching, you know, general procrastinating. It's no fun at the precinct with you guys." then his eyes lit up, "let's relax a little today shall we?"

"What do you have in mind?"

They started walking from his apartment without a destination in mind. They ended up at some point at Central Park. Autumn always brought out the wedding photographers and their clients; Babies were being pushed in their prams; old men in their poor boy caps sat disgruntled at the newspaper they were reading. She breathed in the cool crisp air. The Captain was right, she needed a break and the fresh air helped her in and off headache. She glanced over to her companion who was in the recounting his story of how he was once stuck in a tree with Alexis and his mother watching. They stopped for hot dogs and as they sat to eat, they found themselves watching a young couple trying to get their child to walk.

"Ever think about having one of those?" He said softly, crushing the empty hotdog foil into a ball. She said nothing for a while then she asked:

"Do you want another one?"

"Yeah sure, some day but you still haven't answered my question." He could see she was struggling with a thought. She had her Shut-Up-I'm-Thinking-Castle look plastered on her face.

"What was it like having Alexis?"

"Well I wouldn't know Detective. I seem to lack a womb to make that happen." Beckett cocked an eyebrow as he paused to gather his thoughts. "It was so strange holding something so little for the first time Her hands were so small, she could only grasp my pinky." He smiled at the memory of gathering up his newborn daughter in his arm, she holding on to his fingers. But she already had him wrapped around hers the moment he saw her. "It's hard to put into words how I felt that day but everything changed. It was like I had been living in the world upside down before her and didn't know it."

They sat in silence for several more minutes, watching the couple pack up their picnic and gather the child back into the stroller.

"I'd like one..." she told him with a slow grin, "or two... someday… But I never understand how cops handle having kids. I'm busy enough as it is." Castle remembered that case with the missing child, how good she was with her when she found her. He was thankful for the female influence that she had on his only daughter, giving her advice he could not give her. He had glimpsed a life that he could have with her in a flash. He would sit at home with their kids to write, while she would save the world from evil. Then she would come home in the evening, picking up their kid and swing them around, smile on her face... He was getting away from himself again. He had been catching himself daydreaming about Detective Kate Beckett and her crooked smile. It was getting a little irritating.

By the time they returned to his apartment, it was 6. They cooked, cleaned and settled down. He had spent a full day with the detective and there was no talk or calls of dead bodies. Beckett was relaxed and it was refreshing to see her like that.

But he could have lost her.

He was fumbling with the radio dials and playing with the windshield wipers. He had gotten out of the car and wanted to run after the detective when she told him off, but he was knew he was only going to be a hindrance. Then something exploded, so powerful it shook the car and almost took his legs from under him. He flipped on the radio and called for an ambulance then instinctively ran towards it. _Not Beckett, not Beckett, not Kate. _When he found her, she was disoriented and her sleeve was soaked through with her own blood. He heard himself let out a breath of relief. He had yelled for her but the ringing in her ear could have caused her not to hear him. She struggled to lift her gun to protect herself but once she recognized him, she put it down.

Beckett caught him staring at the bandage around her wrist as he fiddled with his bowl of risotto. She took his hand and squeezed, prompting him to look up at her. "It wasn't your fault. All the other times, yes, but not that time. You did what you were supposed to do. I didn't want you in the middle of it because you could most definitely had been hurt. And then what would I say to Alexis then? I promised her I would look out for you, I would have fell short of my promise. You could have ended up like Ryan but you stayed put." She smirked, "Besides, who else would annoy me and bring me my coffee in the morning at the precinct?"

She pulled up a book after dinner, while Castle was trying to write on his laptop. But he blamed her for making it more difficult. She looked more at home, curled up on his couch. She was deeply engrossed in the novel, eagerly flipping the page to find out what would happen next. She was unconsciously playing with the stray lock of hair He wondered if she looked like that when she was reading his novels, perhaps in a bathtub. He shook his head to clear his mind.

"Having trouble with the words today Mr. Castle?" She said, eyes never leaving the page. The corners of her lips were pulling into a small smile as she turned to the next chapter.

"Never." He scoffed and swiftly returned to his keyboard. He started writing. When he took another peek, he noticed Kate Beckett was fast asleep with a novel in hand. He didn't have the heart to wake her so he pulled a blanket on top of her and gently placed her book on the coffee table, marking her place with a spare sheet of paper. "Until tomorrow Detective." He whispered, and as he grazed her forehead with his lip, he caught a whiff of her shampoo.

_Ah. Cherries._


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

_What the hell_? She was a little disoriented, but the ceiling was oddly familiar. _I'm still at Castle's_. She had fallen asleep after dinner. But she didn't recall how she got up to the guest room. Her medication, a new toothbrush and fresh bandages had mysteriously appeared in the bathroom as had a gym bag filled with a week's worth of her clothes with a note attached that read: _Don't worry, didn't rummage through your closet. I had Lanie do it. - R_

The smell of coffee lead her back downstairs, she could see that Castle was already in his study staring at his laptop screen with a mug of steaming coffee in hand. His pages were strung across his ceiling, hung by clothespins. She fought the urge to pick a page up, for a tease of the book to come. She would never admit to him how big of a fan she was. In truth, her copies, before it burnt to a crisp, were beginning to wear from its constant reading. His 'murder' board had grown since she had last seen it but it took all of her will to stop herself from looking. It was odd watching him work. He had been her shadow for a few good years now and she wondered if this was what it felt like for him. She went to pour herself a cup and settled down with the morning edition of the New York Ledger.

The explosion continued to make headline news. The picture they chose that day was of a mangled steel container amongst the flame and smoke. Firefighters and officers dotted the walkways. The Crime Scene Unit were picking up evidence and popping it into little plastic bags. The newspaper photo wasn't too detailed so she couldn't make out everything. She once again felt something in the pit of her stomach, but she wasn't able to understand what it was. She explained it away as post-traumatic nausea and tossed the front page aside. She swallowed the unmistakable lump in her throat. The aftermath pictured more serious than she had originally thought.

Caledon Dempsey, the man who made the past week a living hell. They had been called in to investigate an explosion that had killed 5 and left no witnesses. Then they were tipped off that another device was set to go somewhere in the Bronx. This time, they arrived with the New York City bomb squad. They found one in the basement of a pub. They carefully secured the scene. A bomb tech pulled off his helmet as he walked towards her and Castle. His frustrated face said it all.

Fake.

They found writing on the tape wrapped around the burn phone and the c4- another cryptic message. This continued on for weeks then it escalated to days. The bomber had littered the fakes amongst the live ones. They had walked into the scene without knowing if they were going to be blown to smithereens. The explosives appeared without rhyme or reason, without any clear pattern or motive. However, the NYPD was able to control the story without causing wide spread panic. They explained it away as a gas leak. Then they finally had a lead. A latent fingerprint was found on one of the burn phones and it returned as Dempsey, the bomb tech that told her about that first fake bomb. Then everything fell into place.

Quickly setting the front page aside, she picked up the Sports pages. Richard Castle could be a pain in the ass, albeit tolerable pain, but he certainly knew how to brew a good cup of coffee. Beckett looked over at her partner and smiled. _Well isn't this domestic._ Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed a yellow post-it on top of a crossword. In familiar scrawl, it read: _all yours. -R. _So she settled down and got comfortable.

* * *

_"It's too bad, it would have been great." he said watching her biting her bottom lip as if she was contemplating._

_"You have no idea..." she leaned in dangerously close and whispered. Then she turned and walked back to the awaiting squad cars. There was a bounce in her step. He stood there dumbfounded at the no nonsense detective he had gotten to know over the past two days. Just then he knew two days was far from enough._

_He was hooked._

He shivered, remembering that moment. Pushing it aside, he took a deep breath and began to type. She was a smart young detective who had an affinity for the weird cases. Something about her just intrigued him... And scared him. No woman had ever caused that sensation before. It wasn't like the fear that Meredith had instilled upon him or the feeling of trepidation when Gina rings up about his book. It was something else. He was hit with a wave of panic and nausea when her apartment exploded right in front of him. He felt it again when that shipping container blew up in to a billion pieces. He felt like his heart was going to deflate and collapse. As much as he probably didn't need to, as his mother reminded him, he worried about her.

Their unorthodox working relationship had grown since she had brought him in for questioning that first time. Castle didn't just gain a lead character, but gained a best friend and confidant; someone he could relax and talk to, be frank and who expected nothing in return. She called him on his crap and was able to read him like an open book. _I'm a detective, Castle, _She had said to him, _it's what I do._

"Damn it..." he closed his eyes and rubbed his temples.

"Castle?" a voice called out from the den. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah." he said, leaving his 'batcave'. _Maybe Paula was right, I just have to get her out of my system._ He thought, but the possibility of not seeing Kate Beckett everyday gave him a sinking feeling. It was a feeling that he did not enjoy. "So this is why I'm not hearing the snoring anymore... When did you get up?"

"Not long." The detective gave him a look and put down her sports pages. "I smelt coffee."

"Ahh your Achilles heel, Detective Beckett."

"How's the writing?"

"Fine. I guess..." he ran a hand through his hair.

"Why Mr. Castle, I believe you are displaying some frustration. Can it be that the great murder mystery novelist has writers block?" she smirked

"Ha. Ha. Funny lady..." He made a face and looked behind him, "I hope you weren't peeking at my murder board."

"As if." She rolled her eyes, "Thanks for picking up my meds. You didn't have to you know, I could have gone home and took them."

"Yeah, and then you would never return. I figured you needed some clothes too since you'll be staying here for the rest of the week."

"Castle, no I can't possibly... I've taken enough of your time as it is."

"You can, and you will. Beckett, I'm not safe alone. Have you _seen_ the things I get up to when I'm alone? You need to be the responsible adult. Plus, I cook and I have oodles of books. So that's that. You're staying." He said as he disappeared back into his study, "Lanie agreed with me. That's two against one. In return I'll even go furniture shopping with you."

She was going to have to talk to her so-called friend about this situation she had been put into. Giving up, she sighed picked up the crossword again. _17 Across: Nuisance_. "Pest..." she muttered under her breath since the words 'Richard Castle' couldn't fit into the four boxes.

* * *

She found him handcuffed from behind to the table leg in his study, his legs duct taped together. He twisted and turned, concentrating on his every move.

"Do I even want to know?" She piped up when he didn't notice her standing there, leaning on his doorframe.

"Beckett!" He looked at her, startled, hitting his head on the table's underside. "I'm uh... researching."

"Okay..."

"I seem to have gotten myself in a jam. Well... I seem to have gotten Nikki Heat into a jam that I can't write her out of." He bit his bottom lip and tried to twist his ankles again, "Ideas?"

"Why Castle?" she gave him that familiar look, "You seem to have everything under control."

"Oh come on, please? Alexis usually helps me with this... Stuff."

"You're a smart man. You figure it out. But I would love to help. To add authenticity to your little chapter here..." Beckett smirked and picked up the duct tape. Ripping off a sizable piece from the roll, she stuck it to his big mouth, leaned closer to him and whispered, "Let me know if you need anymore help."

His breathing slowed as he stared into those olive green eyes. He felt her warm breath on his face and a familiar sensation run through him. He found himself swallowing that lump in his throat and nodding and watching her retreating form.

She smiled to herself as she plopped herself down on the couch. Interesting. The last time she saw what she believed she saw in Castle's eyes, she almost ran away with him to the Hamptons. Almost. Then he broke her heart and she swore never again. She felt her smile fade as she struggled to immerse herself in the new Michael Connelly thriller.

A crash and a bang brought her out once again, a few chapters from the end of the novel. Beckett ran towards the sound and found him flat on the floor without his shoes and socks. She stifled a laugh and nodded. "Stealthy Castle, stealthy."

He winced as he pulled the duct tape off hid mouth. "Such help you are Detective Beckett." he said, voice dripping with sarcasm

"I'm not in the habit of breaking people _out_ of handcuffs. How did you get out of those cuffs anyways?"

"That's for me to know and you to find out." He rubbed his wrists that had been bound moments before and propped himself up. "Lunch?"

"Sorry Castle, I've got plans." Beckett said apologetically. "I'm meeting Lanie. I'm going to see if she can give me an update on the case."

"Working while on leave Detective?"

"No, just curious."

* * *

"What do you mean you haven't got into his pants yet?" The medical examiner took a bite from her sandwich, "all this time alone with him, at his apartment, and you're telling me nothing happened."

"I can't believe you're helping him. I'm fine on my own." She said, ignoring her question.

"Kate, I know you. You need someone with you to keep you out of trouble. Castle, as much of a juvenile delinquent that he is, will do that. You know perfectly well that you can't stay away from the precinct. _I_ know perfectly well why you agreed to lunch with me and what you plan to do after I get back to work." The city Medical Examiner raised an eyebrow and took a sip of her water. As smart as Beckett was, she was oblivious about her feelings towards her shadow and her shadow towards her. The office rumour mill churned of their hook-up but she knew better.

"You are terrible." Beckett popped a pill and downed the water. The little yellow and white tablet gave her a bitter taste in her mouth. Three times a day, before every meal, and everyday the bitter taste sat in her mouth. "No, never mind, this after taste is terrible."

"You have to finish taking those, then see Dr. Grant again. And don't change the subject."

"There is nothing to tell Lanie, he's being a good friend and after my books were burnt to a crisp, it's nice to raid his library." She poked at her salad with a fork, cradling her other bandaged hand in her lap. "But it is strange seeing him outside of the precinct."

"Seriously?" she gave her a quizzical brow. "Girl, the man took you grocery shopping and was considerate enough to get me to toss your clothes into a duffel bag. He's written three books about you, two of which had sex scenes that made me want to take a cold shower and you call him a good friend?"

"Lanie…"

"Don't Lanie me, just jump him and get it over with already." She could tell her words were having an effect on the sometimes-clueless detective. They danced around each other cautiously, neither of them wanting to make the first move, neither wanting to be hurt in a relationship that mattered, neither wanting to change the relationship that they had developed. Just when she thought they had finally gotten their act together, someone else arrived in the picture.

"Anyways," Beckett said sighing, "the Dempsey case. Any updates?"

Sighing, she put down her sandwich and told the benched Detective everything against her better judgment.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

The news from Lanie was troubling her. According to Internal Affairs, that bomb was rigged to explode with a cellphone detonator. From all the interrogations with Dempsey, he admitted that panicked and set off the bomb prematurely. He never did anything that constituted as a mistake before. This had to have been the first. Everything with him was meticulous to a fault. He planned and executed all his plans perfectly, always leaving himself enough time to return to headquarters and never be implicated. She almost wanted to believe that Dempsey wanted to get caught. _That's impossible no one ever wants to get caught._

_Dempsey, what are you hiding? _He was playing them. _What is your end game?_

She walked with the ME back to her office and headed into the precinct just like she predicted. A few 'welcome back's later, she slid into her chair comfortably and started looking.

"Detective Beckett" a shadow loomed behind her, "I thought I made it perfectly clear that you were not to return to duty until you have been cleared by Dr. Grant. As you can see, the precinct did not burn down without you. So go. Home."

"Sir, didn't you find it strange how easy it was to find the last bomb site?"

"No, the dirt bag made a mistake and counted on us to be slower that he thought. Now go home. I don't want to see you for another few days."

"My gut's telling me something is going on and I can't see it. I can sense it." she bore the brunt of his disapproving glare "Sir, I'd just be back here again if you send me home. I just want to make sure I've got all my bases covered, that's all. No fieldwork I promise."

He stared at Beckett and studied her face. She was determined to see it through. Something about this case touched her on a personal level and she could be stubborn-headed if he had gotten in her way. She was right, he would find her right back in that chair if he had sent her off and she'll never get any rest.

"Fine." He sighed, knowing better than to argue with one of his best. There would be no end. "That's it. Nothing else do you hear me?"

Nodding, she packed up all she needed and left. She stopped by the evidence locker in the basement before driving back home but found herself once again at in front of Castle's door. When she knocked, she heard a strained muffled sound coming from within. She didn't even hesitate when she kicked open his door only to find him trying on different materials for gags.

"Whoa! Where's the fire?"

"Uh..." she paused and stared. That man was going to be the death of her. "I went to the precinct after lunch. Something's been bugging me about the Dempsey case."

"You mean like why it was so damn easy to catch the son of a bitch when it was so damn hard to track him down in the first place?" He lifted an eyebrow as she pushed the door shut behind her.

"Exactly." she said, thankful of finally finding someone who thought like her, even when it was just Castle. "Apparently, IA says that Dempsey admitted being a little premature in dialing into the burn phone. He's a NYPD trained explosives expert. He's been the perfect villain all this time and he fucks up now? So I went to the precinct and got what I could about him. There has to be something we're missing."

Dempsey was a psychopath but he passed the department psychological evaluation just the same. He entered into the NYPD Bomb Squad when he was 24 after showing an aptitude for dismantling one as an officer in a intensive and high risk case. After that case was when Beckett thought he turned the corner. He craved the danger and the praise that came with being in the city's most exclusive team. It wasn't enough that he was saving the world with his talent. He needed someone to know it. So he started planning and planting detonators around the city. He watched as one of them tore apart one his teammates and cripple another. He must have been angry when the news reported it as a broken gas main that exploded in the basement of that office building.

By the time Dempsey popped up on the fingerprint search, the man had already disappeared. None of his teammates seemed to know where he had gone and the manhunt was on. They displayed his picture on the news as a person of interest and then they got a note from him, sent by courier. She could still feel the heat of the blast on her face, as she remembered, knocking her back against another container.

"By the way, that's the last time I'm kicking down your door." She mentioned as she massaged her lower back, her adrenaline giving way.

They both knew, with psychopaths, nothing was easy.

"Beckett, as much as this sounds like a fantastic plan, you're still under orders to stay put. Or have you already forgotten about that."

"Castle, its just research. I'm not going anywhere." she plopped down on the stool in the kitchen, spilling the contents her bag onto the countertop. "See? Staying put."

"Who needs drugs when apparently crime fighting gets you high? You would be a shoo-in poster child for the next recruitment or anti-drug campaign... Fine..." her partner sighed in resignation. So he joined her by putting on a pot of coffee and rolling an old whiteboard from his study. She smiled and thanked him only to have him wave it away as he walked back to his unfinished novel.

* * *

"Finally got signal back from the campgrounds eh?" he said, smiling into the phone. "How's the trip going? Ready to come back yet?"

"The trip's been awesome but it would be nice to take a real shower though. What's going on over there?"

"Nothing much, I miss you. Although Beckett has been keeping me company. She is quite the cook apparently. You'd never know by the look of her fridge."

"Beckett? Detective Beckett's there?" he could detect a note of concern for her heroine.

"She's fine. She just a little banged up. I didn't want her to be home alone with just old Thai food."

"Good. I'm glad she's okay." Alexis lost some of the edge in her voice. "How's the writing coming since you brought work home with you?"

"Not too bad..." he gave a small smile, "I think I may be getting brand new insights into the character."

"Are things happening?"

"And what things are you talking about?"

"Oh please Dad, spare me." A pause on her end and he could hear one of the chaperones calling. "Oh I have to go. I'll see you in a couple days. I love you."

"Love you too."

He returned to the kitchen for some caffeine only to find his formerly pristine whiteboard covered. Photos were tacked up across it with his temporary housemate's familiar handwriting. He stared at the black tape she had somehow procured stuck across the board as a makeshift timeline of Dempsey's life.

She had enough there to begin a short autobiography of the mad man. It was, and always had been, fascinating watching her work, especially when she didn't know about it. Her brow was furrowed as she paced back and forth, staring at the whiteboard. Her eyes were lively as she ran through scenario after scenario in her head. She twirled the marker between her fingers as she bit on her bottom lip, still deep in thought.

This was a sight he only saw at the precinct. At least now she had a couch to crash on instead of falling asleep at the station in her chair, arms sprawled across her table and used her files as pillows.

"Looks like you're making progress." he said softly, trying not to startle her. He looked a little closer and found himself staring at his own words from the pages of the Derrick Storm series. "And inhaling too much marker fumes."

"Don't worry Castle, these are photocopies." She smirked as she highlighted another section.

"I'm sure you're about to enlighten me on why my books are on your board." The marker squeaked as she wrote on the board.

"Castle, I think it's you." She turned to him, concerned. "The whole thing revolves around you."

"Well everything revolves around me." he mentioned and then had a marker thrown at his chest.

"Look this, his bookshelves. His novels all look as worn as all the other ones except yours. He hasn't bought any of your new stuff which is strange because he has everything of yours up till _Storm Fall_." She then went over to more photos of his apartment. "Then there's his wardrobe. Does anything about his apartment seem familiar?"

Castle took a closer look. The coffee table was bare, his bookshelves were lined neatly on one side and three photographs lined the dark slate painted walls. _Very familiar…_

"Then there were his notes. I called Karpowski to check on the calls his team responded to before we caught on to the case. There were at least four false alarms that matched the same M.O. He was testing his team and making sure that his plan would be executed perfectly. So my question becomes why didn't he send notes before when he was 'practicing'?" She glanced over at the clues photographed and logged. "Only when we took the case did he start sending these. I've rechecked the evidence from previous false alarms that we hadn't connected Dempsey to. Nothing out of the ordinary with the exception that they didn't explode."

"He wanted to make sure we got the call…" he said trailing off, studying the photographs that he had memorized by heart. "Why didn't I see this before?"

"We were a little busy Castle what with the imminent bomb threat and finding Dempsey, we forgot to look." She placed her hands on her hips and pursed her lips. _She was so stupid…_

"But how? He's nothing like him. I don't get it."

"That's why we call them psychopaths, Castle, sometimes there's nothing to get. He identified with him so he probably thought he _was_ him- Hero complex and everything."

"Just because he wanted my attention..." he whispered. "Just because he thought he was Derrick Storm..."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

The case was unraveling well but she was staring at it for too long. She was starting to get that usual headache when she couldn't figure something out, unlike the one that she got when she was listening to Castle drone on about aliens and CIA conspiracies. She sighed as she tossed the dry erase marker aside and plopped herself down on a bar stool. She shoveled a forkful of scrambled eggs into her mouth and took a sip of her coffee. She looked over and caught Castle trying to chew on his fresh-off-the-pan bacon without burning his mouth. She threw back her head and laughed as she flung a small piece of egg at his forehead with his fork.

Without either of them noticing, they had fallen into a rhythm. Crossword puzzles in the morning complemented by breakfast and coffee, soft clacking of laptop keyboards that extended into the afternoon. The poking and prodding of Castle tore her away from the boxes of papers, which were beginning to gather in his living room, for the gentle chirping of birds in the park where they sat and ate lunch. It was oddly comfortable for both of them.

As promised, Castle took her furniture shopping. He insisted on trying every couch if he was ever going to protect her at her new apartment again. She was pretty sure that he was enjoying this torture more than she was. She finally picked out one that matched her apartment- A soft red cloth covered three-seater. Bookshelves, however, were easier. He helped her secure a next day delivery and bought them each a pretzel to celebrate.

Beckett stepped into a bookstore and Castle donned his sunglasses, emulating David Caruso as best as he could. She picked up a few new paperbacks, a large rolled up map of New York and multi-coloured pushpins. Then she was about to ask Castle if he had a corkboard and some twine she could borrow when they returned. But he was gone and lurking around the Arts section. Unfortunately, sunglasses indoors made him more conspicuous than he had hoped and middle-aged fans surrounded him. He caught her gaze and signaled for help. She contemplated leaving him there to the mercy of his groupies but she couldn't. She sighed and dragged him out the doors.

It turned out that he did have a corkboard and she spent most of the day tacking up the locations of all known and unknown bomb threats. Beckett weeded through the thousands of threats the city of New York had received and she had noted the ones that were deemed successful on the 30-page report. She could have used Castle's speed-reading abilities right then.

As the day turned into night, she had dozed off on the countertop. Her uninjured arm cushioning her head while the other was lightly holding onto a black whiteboard marker. Castle poked his head out the door to sneak a peek at her murder board but ended up picking up the surprisingly light Detective and gently placed her on the couch. He returned to the whiteboard and stared, hoping he could help shed some insight on the trigger-happy lunatic.

Their investigation was sound. He remembered when they first got the case. He could still smell the burning flesh as he and Beckett entered the Scene. Dr. Parish was already there examining the bodies. There were five to account for. Something exploded inside a pub in midtown after last call. The casualties were a few stragglers, the bartender and a waitress. Beckett was called in when the fire chief determined that it was a planned attack. A bomb. No threat was ever recorded. Interviewing the friends, families and enemies of the victims got them nowhere. They were back to square one.

Until they realized she got a call from Detective Jordan, the bomb squad leader. There was another one at another pub in the Bronx- the fake; the one that brought everything to a head. It was like playing Russian roulette and instead of bullets, there were explosives.

Much like Beckett, he had his doubts when Esposito cuffed him that day. His spidey sense was tingling. On the outside, the case seemed to have unfolded and wrapped up with the same sense of finality as their others. But something about this one was a little odd. Perhaps it was because it was the first time that he was involved in a manhunt of a celebrated police officer. He thought nothing of it until Beckett decided to share her feelings about the case.

His eyes followed the string that was pinned to the map, tracing the movements of Dempsey from the first bomb until his capture. The way he chose the places for the bombs were so similar to the locations he chose for Derrick Storm's greatest reveals and triumphs. It was a wonder that he didn't piece it together himself long ago. He should have noticed something when they searched Dempsey's apartment. He should have connected the dots. _Then Kate wouldn't have..._ He let his thought trail off as he looked over at the sleeping detective. _Brave and relentless, so far beyond extraordinary._

He leaned down to pick up the black marker that had dropped to the ground when he moved her. He suddenly had a thought: _It's not over... _He was sure of it. He was certain that his partner knew it too but had failed to tell him for his own good. He traced the outline of her NYPD badge lying on his coffee table and glanced back at her.

_His protector..._

* * *

She studied herself in the mirror when she was brushing her teeth. She was less black and blue and her cuts had started to heal and pucker. She was getting use to waking up to the scent of coffee and a crossword waiting for her. He, on the other hand, was getting used to having her around the apartment.

Castle had never truly been alone. He had always had someone by his side. He surmised it was what it would feel like with Alexis gone to college and his mother finally out of the house. For a split second, he felt a tinge of sadness, how empty his life would be without his beloved daughter or someone to come home to. The gods must have pitied him because he found Beckett in her car with her forehead pressed up against the top of the steering wheel.

He cooked and she cleaned up. He would forever remember their card games after dinner, after persuading her that Dempsey wasn't about to go anywhere; the way her face was relaxed when she fell asleep with a book on the couch. It felt normal. It felt right. She had fallen asleep on his shoulder one night, after the Rangers/Flyers hockey game on ESPN and the smell of her hair and warmth of her body curled against his was overwhelming. _This must be what domestic bliss feels like_. She looked less dangerous when she was lightly snoring away, this woman who slayed dragons by day. He was slowly coming undone by Detective Kate Beckett, and he knew there was nothing that he could do to stop it. Nor was there anything he wanted to do to stop it.

Smiling at that conclusion, he dozed off with SportsCenter blaring in the background.

The next morning, Beckett found herself atop of something warm and was startled that she was in the arms of her partner on the sofa. She was about to scramble off of him but suddenly thought against it. She was strangely comfortable, listening to him breathe in and out slowly, his warm breath grazing the top of her head. Then without realizing it, she smiled and felt herself relax. _Interesting. _She laid there for a few more moments before she slid out of his arms and into the kitchen. He had been making breakfast most days and she figured she would return the favour. Her wrist still ached when she picked up his heavy skillet. By the time she finished frying up the bacon, her phone rang and woke the writer up.

"Beckett." She said into the phone. "Sir. Yes sir I'm at Ca-... No sir I-... Sir..." She paused to let the man on the other end finish. As he told her the news, she tensed up and sighed. "But sir, that's not necessary I-... Understood. No sir I can be there as soon as I can... But Captain- Yes sir."

"Captain Montgomery?" Castled piped up, head peeking up from the couch.

"He had news." she tossed the remaining pieces of bacon from the pan to the plate. "Dempsey is gone. He broke out last night. There's no trace of him. The captain's sending uniforms here just in case."

"How?"

"Killed the guard, stole his keys and his uniform before his arraignment. He thinks Dempsey has a vendetta against you and me." She felt the heat rise again to her face, remembering the night before. She glanced absently at the whiteboard that was rolled to one side. Dempsey's boyish face staring out from his mugshot. Her familiar scrawl was all over the board, detailing his every single move from before the explosion until his arrest. A piece of the puzzle was still missing.

"Well look, we've got uniforms outside, most of your work is here anyways taking over my living room. There's no need to go to the precinct." He said as he read her mind. "So I think we should go and help the movers put that stuff in your apartment, because clearly, I'm not going to help you move furniture around until you've got it just right."

"Castle-

"I wish you would learn that arguing with me does you no good. Now give me a waffle." She rolled her eyes at him as he chewed and shook her head. She did need a break. She made a mental note to pick up her service piece while she was there.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

"I don't remember your place being this... empty..."

Castle looked around at her bare walls. It looked like a woman who just moved in a few weeks ago. Beckett had been there for almost a year, this was a slightly larger apartment than her last. She had a chair with a lamp on one side, while the other was occupied by a shelves with a few books. In between was an oak coffee table that was the perfect height for resting his feet on. Shockingly, the place was missing a television set but then again, it was Beckett. Frames were stacked onto of one another, leaning against the wall. The kitchen held a few plates and pots hung from the rack placed above the island in the middle. Castle was certain she rarely entertained.

"Well this is why I needed to get furniture." she tossed her keys on the side table next to the door. "I'd love to say make yourself at home but all I can offer you is a stool and some... uh... cold coffee... at this point."

Right no cue, the doorbell sounded and she let in the two men carrying a sofa. They plopped it down to where she had asked them to and returned to their truck to move the remaining pieces. As soon as Beckett thanked them and signed their yellow form, Castle collapsed on her red couch and breathed a sigh of relief as if he was the one doing the heavy lifting.

"I'm glad you find that couch so enjoyable." she said, sifting through the mail that had been piling up in her box. "Since you practically begged me to get it."

"Oh there was no begging involved" he said pointedly, "you knew perfectly well that this was the superior sitter."

"Whatever you want to believe Castle. Whatever you want to believe."

"Well now we have to go to the bookstore so that you can fill those empty shelves that you just bought."

"Castle, I'm not made of money. It'll be filled in time." She dumped the stale coffee from the pot and old food from the fridge. Rolling up her sleeves, she started washing the dishes from the nights before while Castle looked through her dwindled book collection. He was curious to see what had survived from the explosion the year before.

Some were charred on the edges but they were in good shape. For a busy NYPD detective, Beckett was an avid reader. He remembered the amount of books that were piling up on a corner and in boxes waiting for a home while others were a little luckier, finding itself a home on a bookshelf. He made a mental note of the ones she was missing, including the ones that he had written. One, however, survived and tipped it out. The dust cover had long since gone and it was left with the cloth binding and gold leaf lettered spine. Opening it to the first page, he found it inscribed:

_To Kate, Enjoy the Read, Richard Castle._

He gave a small smile as he put it back. The book was almost 6 years old. He would have thought he would remember someone like Kate Beckett at a book signing. But then again, he was looking for other things 6 years ago.

Castle looked back at the detective puttering around in her living room, cleaning up the mess that the movers had left then disappeared into her bedroom. He heard the familiar slide of her dresser and the clicking of the magazine from her Glock. When she re-emerged from the room, her brass badge was sitting comfortably on her belt, and her service piece holstered to her side.

"Are we done with the exploring Castle?" She pulled her leather jacket over her blue cotton blouse.

"Um... Are you sure you're going to be needing that?"

"Castle, like you said, you need protection. So this," she gestured to her sidearm "is protection."

"Beckett, like _you_ said, the Captain's sending uniforms over to my apartment. We're going to be fine. You're not going to be using it anyways, you can't. Dr. Grant forbid you to fire a weapon until he clears you for duty."

"Castle-

"No Kate, it'll be fine you'll see." he said. "And we need some dinner. Then you need sleep because you have to see Dr. Grant tomorrow. I can't have him accusing me of you not recuperating as expected."

* * *

"Your films look good Detective." Dr. Grant said staring at the x-rays on the wall and rolled his chair back to his desk. Castle had insisted that accompanied her to the hospital. She gave in, thankful for having someone with her. Grant had forced him to wait outside while he examined the detective. "So does your MRI... but that doesn't mean you're out of the woods yet. Your hearing tests and CT scans still poses some concerns to me..."

Beckett was getting impatient. She wasn't healing quickly enough. She had to get back to work and to the front lines. She wasn't going to stay home for another week just so that some hearing test will come out with a better result the next time around.

"Look I know you'd like to be back at work and if I was in your situation, I would be too. You're still young, you can bounce back faster than some of your older counterparts."

"Doc, I-

"No. I'm recommending desk duty to Captain Montgomery." He pulled out a sheet and gave her a pen to sign it with. "He'll get this in the afternoon."

She gave him a look of frustration and nodded curtly. Grant only had her best interest in mind but it was still irritated that she couldn't resume the work that she loved.

Castle was waiting for her outside of his office. He had been pacing and wore that worried look he had when he had found her beside that shipping container.

"I'm fine Castle."

She drove in silence. Her partner glanced at her, staring straight ahead at the road. New York traffic was especially worse today than any other day. It took a fair time to get back to his apartment. She was tense and taciturn. Her jaw clenched and unclenched, showing her frustration. Beckett was probably angrier that she couldn't do anything about her results than anything. She was use to being able to control everything. This, however, was beyond her league. She couldn't will it away.

"Castle," she said when they stopped in front of his building. She gave a sigh and turned to the writer. She didn't know how to tell him that she needed to be alone to think. "I'm going to stay at my place tonight. There's a few things I have to get done anyways, do some house cleaning. I'll call you in the morning?"

He sat there in silence. He understood what she had needed but it didn't deter him from feeling a little hurt by her stance. He gave her a small smile and left. She watched him walk away and disappear into the confines of the apartment building then looked around to find the officers stationed there were sitting in their car, giving her a slight nod.

Satisfied he was going to be okay, she turned around and drove off.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

It had been the first night since the incident that she couldn't get to sleep. She had been having dreamless sleep and nightmares in the hospital and the first night at Castle's. This time, however, she tossed and turned over the missing piece in the Dempsey puzzle. She left the comfort of her bedroom, got dressed and made herself some tea. She made herself a mental note about buying more coffee, settled down on her couch and pulled up the case file she picked up at the precinct on the way home from the Castle's.

His obsession with Castle and most of all Derrick Storm caused him to imagine that he was Derrick Storm. He thought his life had mirrored the fictional Storm's. He had tested out the waters years before, they just had never connected him to those cases. But the signature was the same. Fake bomb threats to test out his own team's response compared to his own escape, and how to time it perfectly so he would never be suspected. It was all here.

And it seemed to have begun four years ago. _What happened four years ago?_

Clipping her badge and gun to her belt, she picked up her keys and helmet to the motorbike and ran out. She needed to ride and clear her head.

Four years ago was when she first officially met the famed writer. Four years of him tailing her like a puppy; when he started provoking her to elicit a response that would ultimately appear in his first Nikki Heat novel. She remembered the small shiver that went up her spine when he gave her a kiss goodbye when they thought that their first case was over. Four years was when the life she thought she had was over, with him shoving her from behind into the limelight that she never wanted; towards him, she grew feelings for without her realizing it. _Four years when he ended Derrick Storm and began-_ she stopped mid thought and her bike screeched to a halt and she turned around uptown, and accelerated.

It was Castle. _Why am I so stupid... Why did I leave him alone?_

Castle was the target all along. She dialed the number to his tail but received no answer. Dempsey must have thought that Castle would do what he always did and followed her to the scene. If he had been with her, it would have put him in the direction of the pounds of steel shrapnel, pinning him down and killing him. The cryptic messages were to test him, to prove that he was smarter than Castle was. She swallowed that fear in her throat and revved up the bike even more. She had to get to him.

The light at his apartment was still on. The officers stationed at his building were nowhere to be found. She slid her bike onto the sidewalk. She couldn't lose him. What was she going to tell Alexis? She promised her she would take care of her father. She was around her age when she lost her mother to violence; she wasn't about to let another girl go through the same thing. What was she going to do without him? She would never forgive herself if something had happened to him. She quickened her stride and showed her badge to the security in the lobby.

"This man. Have you seen him?" she pushed Dempsey's mugshot at the young guard. When he nodded, she told him to get everyone out of the building. "This is Det. Kate Beckett, 41319 officer off duty requesting backup at 32 Liberty, Apartment 603. 10-13 in progress."

As the elevator door closed, she readied herself for what was to come. She had left the flak jacket in the car at the precinct, but it would have felt like it was suffocating her anyways, impeding her ability to do her job. She checked the magazine again and the chamber of her Glock. The door creaked open.

It was silent. Moonlight streamed in casting shadows on the burgundy carpets below her feet. There was evidence of tampering on the lock on Castle's door. Well this is new. She prayed that she would find him safe in the comfort of his study, snoring away in front of his laptop and she would capture Dempsey before he got to him. But she knew the chances where slim. Slowly, she eased through the front door.

She could see him through his bookshelves.

Male. Early 30s. No clear shot. She would have to move closer. His back was turned and when he moved, she saw him. Castle was groaning from a head wound, disoriented and once again duct taped. Beckett drew in a breath when she saw it.

Castle was wearing a bomb.

She pulled out her cell, dialed and tucked it into her back pocket. She drew closer to his study to get a closer look. He seemed bulky in the police uniform, possibly wearing a flak jacket like she should had been. He was methodical and he certainly knew how to shoot.

"Cal Dempsey, drop your weapon."

"Ah. Detective." He looked her up and down. Dempsey aimed his gun at her chest. "My my, not what I was expecting to find tonight but 2 for the price of 1 isn't the worst thing in the world. I was going to come find you after I finished off this hack writer. And here you thought you got rid of me. But I see from that board over there that you just couldn't let go. Why Detective Beckett, did you miss me?"

"You okay Castle?" she said without looking away from the mad man.

"As okay as I can be with a bomb strapped to my waist."

"A gun and a bomb Dempsey? Isn't that a little overkill even for you?" Beckett ran through the scenarios in her head. "Unless you're afraid your bomb is a little less than perfect and fail to detonate, because as you know, you have a tendency of making them a little… shall we say… flawed." She was farther away than she had wanted to be. His see through bookshelves were still between the two of them. Papers were everywhere and his study was completely trashed.

Castle must have fought back. He swallowed the blood that was gathering in his mouth from his cut cheek. He stared at the Detective, trying to will her not to do something crazy. But knowing Beckett as he did, she would never forgive herself if she didn't. She knew the risks, she was there after all, but that didn't make him any less concerned. She had that look in her eye. She was already finding avenues out of this godforsaken mess that he had inadvertently gotten them into. That was Beckett. Always rescuing him from distress.

"Oh Dempsey, you think you're so special don't you?" she spat out, baiting him and gave him a smile that never reached her eyes, "well look at what happened. He killed you off and he has a new lead now."

"Not for long." Dempsey cocked the gun he was holding.

"Oh please, you're no Derrick Storm. The only reason why you were on the bomb squad was because you just aren't smart enough to figure out the difference apples and oranges to be a real investigator. Hell, you don't even have the guts to build real bombs. At least then you'd make a statement. So do the world a favour and stop embarrassing yourself." _come on Dempsey, drop the detonator... _She gritted her teeth and gripped her gun.

"You are dead wrong detective Beckett. I figured out those two uniforms outside didn't I? They were so easy to take down... So would you like to go first Mr. Castle," he gestured towards the downtrodden author "Or maybe you first Detective, since you're the one who is holding the gun at me. But we could always use the third door and blow everyone up. I'm leaning towards door three. Because, Detective Beckett, they told me you like the weird ones. Wouldn't that be so interesting? Shooting a cop and blowing up the famous Richard Castle's apartment all to avenge the death of Derrick Storm…"

"Unfortunately, that's been done and we even caught the guy so you are so far from original." She gave him a smirk "How sad is that if what you're doing isn't even that special. What more do you have to live for now? So ordinary that you make me bored just by looking at you."

He was shaking with anger. The grip on his gun grew so tight that his knuckles were turning white. His other hand, however, was beginning to loosen its hold. Her brain went into overdrive. 9mm, semi automatic, could pull off several shots in the matter of seconds. His other hand, held what looked like a dead man's switch. Then she had no choice.

His finger squeezed the trigger, as if in slow motion and she responded. As the sound ricocheted and echoed in the apartment, the fugitive and the detective both crumpled to the ground.

Castle recoiled against the shot, trying to make himself as small as possible and squeezed his eyes shut. When he opened them again, Dempsey was on the ground, hit cleanly on his forehead, his eyes lifeless as he stared into the abyss. The detonator untouched. Beckett was an excellent shot. He looked up expecting the intrepid investigator striding in with her gun in tow but she never came. "Kate!" He shouted, spitting out blood again. _Oh my god they killed each other._ Castle panicked, straining against his bonds.

What he didn't expect was her boss busting in through the door. The captain, flanked with a team of officers went in with guns drawn when he had heard the shot. They found the Detective collapsed in the center of Castle's living room. Montgomery came towards him and tore the duct tape off of the famed author. Castle started towards his partner until Montgomery pushed him down and ordered him to stay. The captain was saying something to him but it didn't register. He tried to get up again and once again, the captain pushed him down.

"Castle, we are taking care of her. You have C4 strapped to your chest I need to get it off of you before you go anywhere." the older man looked into his eyes and gripped his jaw, making sure he understood the severity of the situation. "I have people taking care of Beckett. I need to take care of you now. Stay. Put."

"He… Kate had to…" he stammered

"I know Castle, I heard. Beckett called me before she started insulting the bastard. Now stay put."

He gave a small nod as the tech waved away the rest of the crew, leaving him alone with him. Castle stared at the open study door for a glimpse of his partner, while he disarmed the bomb quickly as if it was just another day at the office.

A team of paramedics with gurney rushed past his study and he felt the panic rise again. That sinking feeling was back with a vengeance. Then minutes later there she was, as if in slow motion. Blood was dripping off of her onto his wood floors. She had on an oxygen mask and a paramedic held up a bag hooked to an IV. They hurried out of his door and out of sight. Montgomery went with them for an update on Beckett.

When the bomb tech had determined that the bomb was no longer hot, Castle bolted out the door. He dodged the officers that lined the hallway, blowing by the Medical Examiner.

"Castle-" The doors to the elevator closed as she started her sentence. The look of sheer terror was in his eyes, determined to get to his partner.


	8. Chapter 8  Revised

**EDIT: **To quote Alexander Pope, "To err is human, to forgive divine." I apologize for this chapter that had been previously presented. I was apparently too excited to upload this chapter that in my haste, I had forgotten a few details. I've re-examined it and the missing pieces have been re-entered. I hope you will all forgive me for that and for making this chapter a little longer.

Enjoy the latest revision of Chapter Eight.

**Chapter Eight**

He pushed through the double doors into the ER and stepped into a frenzy. There were children crying, people yelling and doctors and nurses shouting orders. Machines were going non-stop with a rush of paramedics that had blown by him. For most, it would spring them into a panic. There must have been a pile up somewhere. Castle would call it mob mentality but tonight, he really couldn't have cared less. He rushed through the walkways, glancing at the patients one by one as he passed by. Unable to find her, he swept a hand through his hair and looked around frantically.

_Trauma Rooms…_

He looked into the windows, with every glance, his worry increased and all he could hear was his heart pounding. He could taste the blood in his mouth from where Dempsey had struck him. Then he stopped suddenly, and raced back to the room he had just bypassed.

Lying in trauma room 3, she was surrounded by medical staff and machines. They had cut her clothes to get to the source of the bleed. Her bruises were still there from before, but they were slowly yellowing. There was a tube shoved down her throat to help her breathe. He had never felt so helpless. They were shouting to one another, but he heard nothing. Castle just stared through the glass pane and pressed a hand against the window. She was alive. _She's a fighter; she's going to be fine. She is going to be- _He had blinked and suddenly, everything seemed to stop. The display showed one single flat line, and a long whine intercepted his thoughts.

_No_.

A nurse pushed another machine towards the trauma surgeon working on her. She quickly placed two pads on her and placed the paddles on her. Beckett's body arched from the jolt as they stared at the EKG. Nothing. They charged the paddles up once again. Her body reacted violently once more to the shock. The line was still unmoving. The doctor looked at the nurse, nodding in agreement to try again, pressing them against her and then everything came back alive. They rushed back in to stop the bleeding and Castle remembered how to breathe. When they realized that they could do no more at the trauma room, the quickly pushed the bed out the door and rushed to an elevator door.

_No!_

"Hey!" he said, catching someone coming from the room. "What the hell is going on? Where are you taking her?"

"And you are?"

"Concerned. Where the _fuck_ are you taking her?"

"Sir, you're bleeding…" the nurse looked over and called to a colleague, "Get me a suture kit."

"Beckett! Where is she going? Or I swear to god I'll-" he said once again, grabbing his arm.

"Castle?" a voice said from behind him. Dr. Parish was walking towards them.

"Oh thank god, Lanie. He won't tell me where Beckett went."

"Dr. Parish?"

"Gord. What's going on?"

"We had to take Detective Beckett up to surgery. We stabilized her as much as we could. I'll come back to you with more information when I have it."

"Thanks Gordon." She nodded to him, taking the suture kit from him. "Why don't you get back to work? I'm sure they need you more down in the pit. I'll take care of him."

He felt something wet on his cheek and he wiped it away. Lanie pulled him into a hug and felt him deflate. Her hands rubbed his back to console him as he choked back a sob. Montgomery found them and was about to ask them to join him upstairs. She signaled for him to go on without them. Nodding, he understood and rode the elevator up to the surgical floor.

"Castle…" she said quietly as she sat him down on a nearby gurney. "I need to take care of the head wound okay?"

He nodded silently as she went to work. She pulled off her overcoat next to him and pushed up her sleeves. Finding a pair of latex gloves, she opened the suture kit and began to work. He couldn't even feel anything. He was numb.

Kate Beckett had died for a minute in that room adjacent to where he was sitting. A minute was too long. He continued staring through the window, into that empty room while the staff cleaned up their equipment. There were pads and gauze strewn everywhere. _How could anyone survive that?_ _All because she came to save me_. He droned on in his head. _She saved me and almost got herself killed._

Everything else past that point was a haze. He remembered getting to the surgical floor and waiting with Montgomery and Parish; Ryan and Esposito joining them a little later on; Dr. Grant stopping by to check on his status and update them on Beckett. He couldn't quite remember what he was saying, or any of them were saying. He vaguely noticed when he walked to the room where he had mentioned that she was recuperating.

Staring through another pane of glass, he saw his reflection- a battered man with a day's growth on his jaw. He was beginning to feel the dull ache from the beating that he had received. He had blood on his cheek from his cut. Castle stared past himself to the woman lying there alone in the company of machines. He kept staring hoping to see her warm green eyes open and give him that signature eye roll he had grown accustomed to. The others saw to Beckett at the hospital room but she was still comatose. One by one, they left, leaving Castle who was still unable to bring himself into his partner's room.

"Beckett was a good shot." Lanie placed a hand on Castle's shoulder. "And lucky too. One more inch she would have bled to death. The doctors were able to control the bleeding and take out the bullet. She's out of the woods. She is going to ache when she wakes up from her medication though, not to mention that she probably triggered her hyperacusis she sustained last week at the blast. And she's not going to enjoy the prognosis of staying here for a week or so and then desk duty for at least the month while she recuperates." She gave him a cold press for the bruise that was beginning to form around his eye.

"She's been through so much and for what?" he held the compress in his hand, chilling his fingers. "It just seems so senseless."

"She does it so someone else doesn't have to." She gave herself a sad smile. She knew the detective too well. "She does it so that they don't have to go through the same pain that she felt after her mother was murdered. She does it so people can go home safe to their daughter."

"I…" Castle was, for once, speechless. He didn't have a retort for that. He was going to tell her that he would shoulder that responsibility with her; that she didn't have to be alone in doing this; that she could always leave it to someone else. But he knew the folly of his argument. He shoved one hand into his jean pocket and put the compress on his head, the cold rousing him slightly.

"Go in. I'm sure she would want to see you when she wakes up." he gave her a wounded look. "Look, she would be the first to tell you that the whole thing is not your fault."

"I know." He said quietly as he slipped into her room. "I just wish I figured it out earlier."

She looked peaceful. The EKG monitor gave a reassuring beep that she was indeed alive. He ran his fingers through her red brown hair, needing to believe that she was still there with him and not a figment of his overactive imagination. He pulled up the large overstuffed chair beside him, and for the first time since the night began, he allowed himself to close his eyes.

* * *

Alexis had rushed home when the Captain had called only to find the apartment surrounded by police cars. She quickly came to the conclusion that her father was still there at the hospital and she rode with an officer heading that way as soon as she could to make sure her father was all right. As she turned the corner into the recovery wing, she stepped into the hospital room and found her father lying hunched over at the side of Detective Kate Beckett, their hands entwined. She exhaled a sigh of relief as she quietly walked towards him.

She touched his forehead and cheek and examined his wounds. At her touch, Castle lifted his heavy eyelids and turned to her.

"Hey sweetie." He said sitting up. "What are you doing here?"

"Captain Montgomery called. He told me about that crazy bomber you were chasing down trying to kill you and Detective Beckett." She gave him a hug. "Are you going to be okay?"

"He'll be fine Alexis." Beckett croaked softly from the bed. "Besides, he'll look pretty butch in the morning, just as he likes it."

The girl abandoned her father and flocked to her heroine's side, insisting to stay with both of them.

"Alexis, I'd love you to but I'll be fine on my own. I mean, you've seen your dad. Take him home; get him a shave and some sleep. This cave man look really doesn't work for him." Beckett said. "I'm going to get someone to drive you over since both of you hitched a ride."

"Beckett, that's unnecessary…" Castle piped up.

"Your apartment's being invaded by our very own Crime Scene Unit… So. I think you should take my apartment."

"But Detective…"

"No buts. You guys were nice enough to let me stay first when my apartment exploded, then your dad was gracious enough to help me out when that box exploded so now I'm returning the favour." She continued, noticing that she was starting to fade out again.

"We can't possibly…"

"You should check out the new couch your Dad picked out." She had said forcing down the pain and flashing a smile. Alexis nodded, giving her a light hug, forgetting about her condition. "The keys are in my coat pocket…"

"Hi." Castle smiled at her.

"Hello." She replied back, her heavy eyelids threatened to shut once. She lifted her arm and touched him on the cheek, studying his bruises. Her light touch sent shivers down his spine. He closed his hand over her's. She was cold to the touch but brought him back down to reality.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like I was shot."

"Smartass…" he gave a light chuckle.

"How long was I out?"

"You were heading into hour six. You were in the surgery for about 5 hours." He glanced at the clock. It was already 2 in the morning. "You should have left it alone Kate. Just leave me be. You knew firing would trigger your condition and coming without backup was suicide."

"What did I tell you Castle, I hate paperwork." She said, pausing, "What else could I do? The uniforms outside your apartment weren't answering their phones. I couldn't find them when I got there... I had to. There's nothing on this god's green earth that could stop me from finding you. I couldn't lose you." _Damn it._ She thought as those words came tumbling out her mouth. _I hate morphine._

They both stopped amidst it all as Alexis returned to the room, breaking the silence.

"You and Alexis should get moving. I'll be fine." Her eyes were threatening to close once again. "I just need to nap for a bit."

"I'll see you tomorrow Kate." He said as she drifted off. He heard a sound of agreement and he turned, walking out the door with his daughter beside him.

* * *

She blinked herself awake into another familiar room. She looked around at the beige walls. _Right. Hospital._ She found Castle sitting with a few file folders and a leather folio on his lap, a fountain pen in his hand.

"What did you do to make the nurse confiscate your laptop?" she piped up. He looked up expectantly at her and gave her a smirk.

"I did nothing."

"Right..." she rolled her eyes at him. "How long was I out this time?"

"Well you've been rolling in and out of consciousness for the past few days. You were mumbling something about frogs and then went back to sleep again so I have no idea what that's about. Are you feeling better?"

"Yeah. Better." She said wincing, trying to get up. The morphine was finally wearing off. She rubbed the side of her torso and felt the bandages, then stared at the other two on her arm and forearm."Just the ache now. I should just buy bandages in bulk. It'll save me some money."

"Good. They took you off that IV yesterday to see how you'd react but that's good." Castle set aside his things and contemplated something. "Can we talk about something?"

"Sure." She said testing out her mobility.

"You said you couldn't lose me." He mentioned and watched her stop in mid stretch.

"Well yeah, who would bring me coffee in the morning?"

"Stop. What did you mean by that?"

"Castle, you know what I mean."

"No I'm thinking I really don't."

"I-" she paused trying to find her words. _There's no going back if you do this now Katie._ "I've tried to tell you for a year now about how I feel. I've tried to move on. I've tried... No, I'm not the best person open up and get to know. I think that's what makes me a good cop but it also makes me hard to read. I get that."

"Kate-

"Castle, you're important to me in ways that I thought was never possible. You're pretty much with me 24/7 and I think I've gotten to know you pretty well."

"You have." He said, unsure where this was going.

"It's been a odd year, at least for me. Not because we've gone through a lot of weird cases but… I was going to come last year for the weekend. That's what I was going to tell you." She took a deep breath, desperately trying to reorganize her jumbled thoughts before she lost her nerve. "Gina, as much as a pain you tell yourself she was, she made you happy, more relaxed. She gave you a new sense of humility, which I've never seen before. I was fine with that. I moved on. If I had let you know earlier..."

"Moved on? Hang on, but you... I... We..." For the second time that night, he was lost for words.

"When you two broke up, I thought that was what you were going to go for from now on, someone who was going to be in a long term relationship." She said, almost speaking to herself. "Then Natalie Grey happened and it was like Elle Monroe all over again. I mean, what the fuck was that? You could have the real thing but you chose the actress that plays Nikki Heat instead?" Her words spilling out now as she remembered, ignoring the pain in her chest and head.

"Wait, when people ask if we're together, you always said no and never." He frowned as he worked out a few things in his mind.

"Castle, I just mean-

"Now just hold on a minute, Detective." He looked at her with a puzzled look on his face. "You were still hot and heavy with Demming that Memorial Day weekend. You made it clear that you and he were an exclusive item. Then there was the good doctor who you dated for a year! I was waiting for the wedding invitations!"

"You should have known by now that I need time to reassess. I'm a detective, Castle, I don't fall easy."

"I gave you all the opportunities in the world and you decide not to take them. I put everything on the table. You must have known how I felt about you." He said quietly, pacing back and forth from her bed and half way to the door. He ran a hand through his hair, frustrated and a little confused. He felt the heat rising to his face. "But you… you never made a move…"

"Oh I'm well aware of that Castle. I didn't want..." She hissed, out of the corner of her eye, she saw a red headed girl appear at her door "Alexis! What are you doing here?"

"I had some time after school, so I wanted to see how you were doing…" Castle spun around and Alexis had a puzzled look on her face. "I'm sorry, am I interrupting something? Because I can come back…"

He knew she would never have this conversation with him again, blaming it on the effects of the boatload of other drugs that they had her hooked up to. He would then blame it to the intensity of the situation, making him say things that he would normally not say. Then he would make a joke to get out of it and to make her crack a smile. It would be as if nothing had happened.

"No, it's fine Alexis." She forced a smile. "You're not interrupting anything"

"I just wanted to thank you for lending us your apartment while ours gets a little less Veronica Mars." She stepped gingerly closer to the two. "How are you feeling?"

"Much better. Thanks for asking."

"I thought I would bring you these." She laid a few paperbacks on her tray table. "I saw them on your bedside table so I figured you were reading these. It'll be better than the soaps and talk shows on TV in the day time."

"Oh, ain't that the truth…" she gave a light chuckle, all the while Castle was staring at her with an unreadable look on his face. Alexis gestured to the bathroom and she nodded. As the door slipped shut, Castle opened his mouth again.

"No Castle," She said quietly. "We're done talking."

They were unable to look at one another; unable to gather up the courage to see what was in each other's eyes; unmoving until the door creaked open again.

"Let's go sweetie. We should let Beckett have her rest." He said as he put his arm around her.

"I'm glad you're okay Kate." He heard his daughter say.

"Me to Alexis." She replied.

As they were walking towards the hospital elevators, Castle looked back and watched the detective place a hand on the books that his daughter left, the conversation they had fresh in his mind. He sighed as he tore his eyes away from her, not noticing that she had glanced up to watch them walk down the hall and disappear around the corner.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

He was breaking in her new red couch. Without a television set, he managed to get quite a few things done. Alexis had taken up Beckett's room while he made do with her guest room, which was, unsurprisingly, empty.

They had fixed dinner and now both Castles were hard at work. Feverishly typing, he paused at mid sentence on his laptop. All he could think of was their ridiculous fight. He was also to blame for their relationship from imploding. Then suddenly, a voice of reason appeared from nowhere. He remembered his conversation with his daughter, as he was getting dressed.

"_I'm not going to be here forever, then who's going to look after you then? Bachelorette number 3? If that's who you date, are you going to find happiness with someone on that list."_

"Dad, I'm sorry, but I couldn't help but overhear..." She said to him suddenly, not looking up from her notebook and textbooks. He peered over the couch at his daughter at the kitchen table with a quizzical brow. "Dad, do you like Detective Beckett?"

"Well yeah…" he was unsure where this line of questioning was going. "She's one of my friends. One of my best friends actually come to think of it."

"No I mean… Like… Detective Beckett as in dinner and a movie, walk in the park, raising a radio over your head outside her apartment… or hospital room."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." He tried to return his concentration to those words that were on his screen.

"Why couldn't you see what she was doing?"

At the silence, she looked up and saw him staring back at her blankly. Exasperated at the pair, she exhaled and pushed away from the table. "She was trying to tell you how she felt. Not very elegantly but she was. She likes you Dad. Why else would she keep you around that long?"

"Alexis, I don't know what romantic comedy you think Beckett and I are in but she was not professing her undying love to me. There will be no chasing of cars and throwing myself on the windshield of her Crown Vic." He said, putting aside his laptop and faced his daughter. "By the way, we should stop getting your hearing checked, clearly, it's a test that we are wasting time on. This is real life darling. Nothing's ever that simple."

"Why not?"

"Well because…" His reply was caught in his throat. _Yes Richard, why not?_ His mouth opened but nothing came out. All he really needed to say were five little words. _Kate, I'm falling for you._ That had seemed easy enough.

"Fine Dad, it's okay if you don't want to admit it but you and I both know how you actually feel about Detective Beckett." She took advantage of the silence as she closed her books and walked backwards to her makeshift bedroom. "So maybe you should take the ball into your court and do something about it."

* * *

CSU cleaned up quickly. By the end of the week, they moved out of Beckett's apartment and back into his own. Alexis had left for school and he was left to his own devices. His fingers droned on his keyboard without actually typing, staring at the keys sitting on his coffee table. His offspring's words repeating themselves over and over again in his head: _"Why not?"_ Sighing he picked up those keys and grabbed his overcoat, he turned back, looking over his apartment one last time.

He swallowed the lump in his throat as he stared at the spot where she had collapsed. The apartment looked unchanged from before the shooting with the exception of the carpets in the living room and his study. Shaking his head, he closed the door behind him.

After a week of red Jell-O, drifting in and out of the novels Alexis had brought her, Beckett was ready to leave. She was going slightly stir crazy in her hospital bed. It wasn't like she didn't have visitors. Montgomery had returned to give her an update on the case and IA had cleared her for any possible wrongdoing. She had talked him and Dr. Grant into giving her desk duty and not to stick her back at home. Ryan, who was just about to be discharged from the hospital, poked his head in after she had sent away her partner and his daughter. He had asked about the case and she recounted everything. He listened intently then eased into another subject when she finished. He mentioned that the doctors had given him a good prognosis and was releasing him to Jenny's awaiting arms. Lanie would stop by everyday after work to check on her and studied her charts. Every time Beckett saw her, she couldn't get up the nerve to tell her about their little talk. She would leave satisfied, however, at how well she was recovering, always leaving a note to herself about how Castle wasn't there with her. Esposito had slipped her small slice of cheese pizza, when he appeared by her bedside. Dr. Grant, however, snatched it away as quickly as it was presented; bringing her back to her hospital issued bland food. She had asked him to haul her bike back for her to her apartment to which he had responded with a yes. Even Alexis had stopped by after school sometimes. She would share her day and how it was going with Ashley. She would sneak a "How's your father doing" question in there somewhere.

But there was no one by the name of Richard Castle until the final day, as she was packing up her clothes. She saw him from the corner of her eye, leaning on the doorframe with a question ready to be fired at her.

"No it's fine Castle, I can make my own way home thanks." She answered before he could ask, unable to look at him. "Grant's agreed to put me on desk duty so I'll be going back to the precinct later on in the week. I won't be going to any crime scenes for a while until he puts me back on active duty. If you'd like to drop by then fine, but if you don't, I understand. It's weird to watch someone do paperwork."

"Okay." He simply said after a long pause. She looked up at him finally, examining him once again. His cut was no longer bandaged or bleeding. His blue eyes seemed tired without that spark that she was used to. Last time she saw him like that was in Kyra Blaine's wedding hall, offering her a piece of cake. He looked well enough in his blue jeans, black shirt and grey pea coat.

"Thank you." She winced as she struggled to pull on her leather jacket. Castle took a step towards her and helped her into the coat. She checked the bandage that was wrapped around her abdomen. Not wet, not red. Taking a long deep breath, she thanked him again for returning her keys.

They've had awkward moments before, like when he crossed the line diving into her mother's cold case; like when it was possible that he was leaving her for the highly anticipated sequels to Ian Flemming's novels; like when he came back from the Hamptons without telling her. None, however, rivaled this one. They were clumsily dancing around the subject that they weren't ready to discuss, looking at everything else but the person in front of them; unwilling to let their guard down. It was times like these when she really missed her mother.

The nights were growing cold. Winter was around the corner as the last leaves from the tree outside fell onto the freshly paved road. She paid the cab driver from whatever that was left in her wallet. She wrapped the leather jacket closer to her and gave a sigh. She had been doing a lot of that lately, sighing. A young couple walked by in front of her, pressed beside each other to conserve heat. A father and mother were swinging their child back and forth between them. She felt her heart sink as she pushed the door open and stepped inside.

_Great... _She tossed her gun and badge back in her bureau. Castle had filled her fridge for her with all the things that she would possibly need, and of course, a tub of triple chocolate ice cream sitting in the freezer. Castle was a good houseguest, she would give him that much. Sighing, she picked up the phone and dialed the familiar ten-digit number to the Chinese place near by, pushing aside her desire for pancakes.

She collapsed on the couch and rested her eyes. Then there was a rapt at the door. _Well that was fast._

"Beckett?" She was about to get the door when she paused at the familiar voice. There was a long silence, and then it continued. "Beckett, I don't care if you don't open this door. I don't care. I just need you to hear me out." He paused hoping he would hear the door unlock and the knob twist to reveal the hard-nosed detective. He then realized that he would have to be the one to take the first step. He would have to be the brave one this time. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brushed you off. I should have listened to you instead of just hearing you. I didn't want to hear you say no again."

He stayed there, his forehead to her cold front door, just waiting. Unable to say what he wanted to say, he simply slipped an envelope under the door, sighed and turned to walk away. He had wanted to ask her in person to come with him. They would go together and the blow that Popsicle stand for Remy's for a real meal with those chocolate shakes, but the fear took hold. He was as scared as she was and she was the stronger one.

Kate looked at her front door, frozen in place. When Castle pounded on the door, she ignored him, dismissing it to be a ruse to crawl back to her good graces. _His persistence, this time, would not work._ She vowed. When she felt it was safe, she walked carefully to the door to pick up the envelope he had slipped under her door.

**An Evening wrapped **_**In Heat  
**__Join Richard Castle as he celebrates the third exciting novel from the Nikki Heat series!  
_Metropolitan Theatre for the Performing Arts  
Formal Dress  
8PM


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

Days turned to weeks and everything returned to normal. Beckett was back in her own apartment. She was a little out of sorts finding herself staring at her own ceiling in the morning and not smelling the scent of pancakes coming from the kitchen. Her 'war' wound was healing well but she was happy she was reduced to desk duty due to the mounting paperwork; happy to be buried in paperwork so she didn't have to think. That led Castle trudging onwards on his fourth Nikki Heat novel while preparing for the launch of the third book. They spent little time working together for a while, both unable to admit to themselves what had happened between them; ignoring the topic entirely when they did see one another.

Castle adjusted and readjusted his bow tie. Everything about it seemed wrong. His hair, his tie, his choice of shirt... Everything reflected back to him as if he was the picture of imperfection. He quickly unknotted his tie and tried again.

"If you keep doing this we will never be able to leave." a voice piped up behind him. He smiled softly at the sight of his daughter. She was a lovely vision in green, she had her father's eyes and her mother's fiery red hair. And as always she was ready before he was.

She carefully took the black tie and quickly knotted it for him like only she could. Not too loose, not too tight, nor was it lopsided. "Dad, we have to go." She said as she checked him over, making mental checklist as she went along, "Paula is going to kill you if we don't leave now. Gran is already there with her date so we have GO!" she persistently pushed her father out of his office.

The third novel resolved itself quite well. It helped that he worked with her alter ego every day, observing the intricacies of crime solving and the little things that made her Beckett. Heat and Rook had their fair share of ups and downs in the novel but after four years, he would like to think she thought of him as more of a help than a nuisance- more like a partner. She was the one he called back on a consistent basis... He smiled to himself as he thought. _She was the only person he would share his favourite mushu pork with_. He knew she wanted to get their relationship back to normal, as if nothing had happened, but he was unable to let it go. She had invaded each part of his life without him knowing.

But he was also enjoying his time with Beckett too much; enjoying their little moments even if she wasn't ready to move forward. There was nothing like the high of catching a bad guy with her in the midst of it, in a lie, in a bind. Fortunately he was still in the good graces of the Mayor and he still provided good enough press for him to continue shadowing the enigma of a woman he seemed to have met. It was odd doing without her after being at her side for 24 hours a day.

But then again, there were those vivid dreams...

"Mr. Castle?" someone called out to him, shaking him out of his reverie.

"Dad, I know this is scary and everything but the first step is to get out of the car..." he gave her a smirk and leapt out of the car to his adoring public. He had his work face on smoozing with the rich and famous and once in a while, he glanced to the doorway and scanned the crowd. Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. Esposito had found himself chatting with a beautiful brunette that Castle was going to have to warn him about a little later. While his partner, Detective Ryan was dancing with his girlfriend on the wood floor. But one person was still missing. Then a shout caught his attention.

"Nikki Heat!" it yelled. Then a slew of photographers retrained their lenses on the red carpet. It was unlike her in every way. Her black dress accentuated all the curves of her body unlike her usual jeans and blouse she wore to work. Unlike work, she seemed uncomfortable under the spotlight, giving the cameras a slight shy smile, then hurried through the front door-then straight to the bar. _She came. _He felt himself grinning, thanking the gods that Alexis was no longer at his side seeing him act like a fool.

"Vodka Mar-" She paused and sighed at the bartender. "Iced tea please."

"Detective." a familiar voice piped up.

"Dr. Grant. You like nice all cleaned up." she said with a smile. "Just wondering, Can I just order my Martini now or do I have to wait longer?"

"Well, I've got good news. The labs are back and I'm clearing you for active duty. The captain already knows. So the vodka is back on the menu for you."

"Oh thank god. I'm not good at dealing with this… sort of thing…" She waved her hands around and signaled to the bartender to mix her one. "I was going to go stir crazy in that chair."

"It's good to see you Detective. Don't make a habit of it though." He picked up his two drinks from the bartender. His partner waved at her and she tipped her drink at him.

"Beckett." Castle stood there in his penguin suit and a drink in his hand, much like a poor man's James Bond. She held up a hand and downed the drink that the bartender had given her, then signaled for another.

"Castle." After four years, she still hasn't been able to get used to this life that he lived. All around him were the glitz and the glamour and he chose to be with her on the streets of New York with dead bodies, day in and day out.

"How are you feeling? What did Dr. Grant want?" His brow furrowed, concerned about her well-being.

"A little claustrophobic with all these cameras but otherwise okay I guess." she drank from the glass again. She'd stared down the barrel of a gun, been shot and blown up but this… this was what makes her uncomfortable.

"No, you know what I mean."

"I'm fine Castle." She said, taking another sip. "Dr. Grant cleared me for duty."

"Good! It's about time. I'm glad you came." It was the Captain who ordered her to go, a publicity stunt to get the precinct much needed equipment from the mayor. But she had decided a long while ago.

"Who would keep you out of trouble?" she forced a smile and suddenly found her empty glass more interesting.

"I'm sorry." Castle said softly after a long pause.

"Can we not talk about this right now?"

"No, we should talk about this. We can't keep hiding from each other."

"I'm not hiding Castle, I have things to do which you find boring." she glared at him, "and _you _have things to do that I am not comfortable with."

"Oh please, at least I'm admitting that I'm hiding. You're avoiding my calls."

"Castle, not right now." she thanked the bartender for the refresher and pointed to something behind the author. "Oh look. Your groupies want you. I'll see you later."

"Beckett..." he said to her retreating form. He took in a breath and threw on his signature trademark Castle charm and faced the public. "Ladies!"

Beckett watched as he signed everything that was shoved in his general direction, including the infamous 'can-you-sign-my-chest'. A tap on her shoulder spun her around to face the littler Castle. As usual, she gave her a hug and complemented her dress.

"I'm sorry about Dad, he could be a little bit of a jackass sometimes."

"Your father didn't put you up to this did he?"

"No, but I'd like to keep seeing you around so I'm apologizing on his behalf."

"Alexis, there is nothing to apologize about. You can always call me when you need me, even if your father and I aren't working together anymore."

"I know, but it won't be the same..." she shrugged. "Dad's like an overgrown kid as you know, but he means well. It takes a little bit for him to work out his problems internally when it comes to certain things but he's a lot like you. Once he has his mind set on something, he'll see it through until the end."

"I think Ashley's looking for you." Beckett said, gesturing over Alexis's shoulder. She was desperately looking for a way out. She had made her presence known, it had been more than ten minutes. It was time to leave.

"Detective Beckett, remember what I said okay?" The younger Castle gave her another hug and went off to dance with her boyfriend.

"Martha!" Beckett found herself turning around only to find herself face to face with her partner's mother. She was almost certain that Castle had his family trap her there until he could get back to her.

"Enjoying yourself Kate? Not thinking of leaving are you?"

"Well I-

"Darling, it's as much your night as it is his." she said with a knowing look in her eye. "I never got the chance to thank you properly for saving his stubborn behind. Well actually, for most of the times that you had saved him that he had been keeping from me actually."

"Martha, I'm just doing my job."

"I've never seen him think this much. Ever. Not even when he thought he was head over heels with Kyra Blaine. You remember Kyra Blaine don't you?"

_How could I forget?_

"Well if he loved her half as much as he said he did, he would have chased after her in an instant. But he didn't." she continued, looking past her and waving to a colleague. "When it came to you, however, ah now that was a different story."

Beckett opened her mouth to respond only to have his mother wave it away again. "But what do I know, I'm only a diva without a stage. Please enjoy yourself Detective. You deserve it." She held her briefly, then gave her a look reminiscent of one that her own mother gave her when she was being stupid, and left to greet other guests that had arrived at the party.

She looked around to be certain that there were no Castles left to block her from her eventual exit. Then she maneuvered to the kitchen doors and left using the service entrance, walking into the darkness of the side alleyways.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

It was beginning to rain.

She could hear it from her bathtub, lightly beating on her windows, threatening to come in and drown her. She was welcome to it. _Why did I open my big mouth?_ The quiet was nice for once. She reached over and picked up a novel she had set aside. There was nothing like a thriller to finish off a day, a case that finished 500 pages or less. She turned it over to stare at the cover, then counted down from five, breathed deeply and sighed. Force of habit caused her to pick up a dark novel with a silhouette on the cover, the name Richard Castle emblazoned above it. No matter where she turned, she was unable to shake him loose it seemed. Groaning, she tossed the novel aside and sank below the water line.

Drowning seemed to be a good idea.

Underwater was a good place to be without hearing that name. It seemed to be everywhere. Bookstores, the newspapers and the precinct… even her bookshelves were mocking her. Being underwater was doing her no good. It was too quiet. There was too much thinking going on. She had to get out of that tub.

Work.

_Work would be a good idea right now. _

Reluctantly, she reached for the towel and hopped out. She still had some work to do at the precinct and with everyone gone to Castle's little party; she was going to be alone for the most part. _Quiet and work… That'll do_. Sighing, she dressed and clipped her gun and badge to her belt. She stared out the window. The rain was letting up. As cold and as wet as it was, her motorcycle would have to do for the night. She pulled on her leather jacket and picked up her helmet from the hallway closet. As she opened the door, she found the one person she wanted to avoid on the other side.

"Castle!"

"Beckett!" he said, startled. Stepping back and glanced at his counterpart, "What happened to your dress?"

"It went bibbity bobbity boo and turned back into these jeans and this shirt. The heels also turned back into my boots too if you're curious. So if that's all, I need to get going."

"Whoa! Wait." he had gone straight to the precinct hoping that she was going to be there like she normally was. When Officer Rennick let on that he hadn't seen Beckett since the afternoon, he turned around and went to her apartment. He was a dripping a little onto her bamboo floors from the flash rainstorm that they had just received. He had been pacing outside, trying to find a way to tell her how he felt. "We need to talk."

"Castle, can't this wait?"

"No. When you said you didn't want to talk at the party, I figured it was because you didn't want to have this conversation in front of my guests."

"Castle, we're not having this-

"When you didn't respond to my phone calls I figured that you wanted to do it face to face." he lifted a finger to tell her to hold. His patience was wearing thin with her when all he wanted to do was hold her still and lay one on her.

"Castle-

"When you didn't answer the door, I figured you were still pretty peeved." He was blocking her way out the door. She could have taken him down in one fell swoop but she decided against it. His ego wouldn't be able to take it. "So here I am, weeks later at your door and I think speaking now, would be fantastic."

"Fine. You want to talk, we'll talk."

"Kate I-

"Nuh huh, no, you said talk and I'm talking so zip it Castle. I was on drugs and we were in a high intensity situation, I said must have said a lot of things and obviously, some of it made you uncomfortable. Let's just forget about this and get back to work because you have 2 books left to write and we have more killers to catch. Besides, are you-

He put a hand on her mouth to stop her from talking. Her eyes flashed red with anger. He knew he only had minutes to convince her. She wasn't like any other woman. He had to make her understand before he can finally do what he had wanted to for so long.

"Kate, I'm not sure what this is we're doing." He stared into her green eyes, trying to make her understand, then drove a hand through his hair. "I'm not doing this right am I? Look, you're right. I'm not the best guy with this feelings and relationship business. But you knew that already, as I recall. But I'm ready. I'm so far beyond ready. I'm in for long haul if it's going to be with you. You can't get rid of me."

"Castle, no. It won't... We can't... I-

"Kate." He was holding on to her for dear life. "If you can trust me enough to give me your gun and trust me enough that I can back you up, then trust me about this. We can stumble through this feelings stuff together because obviously, we're both a little stunted in that department. I'm in, Kate. I'm _all_ in."

He paused to let it all sink in for her. She did all she could to look away, staring at her own reflection off of her motorcycle helmet, uncomfortable with the situation he had put her in for the second time that day.

"Castle. Don't do this." She struggled against him. "Don't do this right now. I can't…

"Why not?" The scent of her shampoo was driving him to distraction, but he forced himself to concentrate and his words came out in jumbles. _Can the Book Review see him now…_ At her silence, he continued on. "Why not us? This works Kate. You and me, we work… we work really well together. There is no reason for us _not_ to be together. This makes sense. I have been stupid. But so have you. You never make your feelings clear and I never know what you're really thinking. I thought you cared about me, cared about me more than just a friend. I thought we were going somewhere. My heart fell to pieces when I saw you with Demming. So I naturally thought that you didn't want to be with me. I mean, you never made any move towards me so I thought I was stupid for thinking that you would have feelings for me. But here _I_ am, making a move. Kate, I-"

"Shut up." She had that look on her face- the one she wore when she was trying to figure out her suspect. _He's right, there's no excuse… _Coming to that realization, she felt her heart skip a beat. _The heart wants what the heart wants. _He had once said to her. _Well isn't that the truth... _Castle could feel her relaxing and loosening up as he pulled her closer to him.

"I'm not running away." she whispered.

"That's okay, I'm not giving you the chance to run away." She felt a slow smile grow on her face and he gave a light chuckle. "Not this time."

A buzz rang out from her phone and she turned away from him. "Castle, I have to get that."

He gave her a look, then sighed staring heavenward. She pulled out her cellphone from her back pocket and responded: "Beckett." She never took her eyes off of him until something peaked her interest from the other end of the line. "Right. I'll be right there."

"There's been a murder at the pier. We're going to have to finish our little conversation later." she leaned in and whispered into his ear. He had that dumbfounded look that he carried from that first day they met. Tossing the helmet back into her closet, she walked out into the hallway with that confident bounce in her step he had grown familiar with. Then she turned around.

"Castle, you coming?"


	12. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

Winter had always been her favourite season. She loved the freshly fallen snow lightly blanketing her city; the satisfying crunch under her boots as she walked by shops and stores decorated for the holidays. She sipped the cup of coffee as she stared out the window into the streets of Lower Manhattan. She had been a New Yorker all her life but she would never get used to this sight. Christmas was due to arrive soon.

She turned around and walked to the empty whiteboard facing her desk. Another case solved, she said as she put the remaining files into the brown banker's box. She had sent her team home, telling them that she was going to finish it off. They happily complied and scattered before their boss could change her mind. It had been a little more than a year since she was shot. Her torso still ached on rainy days but for the most part, it had healed rather well. She had a small scar on her cheek and her side reminding her of the narrow miss she had encountered. She took the box and her belongings and rode down the elevator to the archives. Walking down a dimly lit hallway, she passed by row upon row of similar looking boxes, some worn down by age, others as new as the one she carried under her arm. Finally finding the box its new home, she turned around and walked out into the night.

She smiled as she walked to her bike. She had been riding more often of late. She loved it more in the cold for some reason. Even though it was winter, she was happy that the road conditions remained optimal for motorcycle riding; happy that she didn't have to put that bike back into storage. She remembered how it used to worry her father as she mounted the black Harley Softail. Castle still thought she was crazy for riding a month into winter. "_You'll catch pneumonia, fall and hurt yourself, and I'll have to find myself a new muse."_ He would say. She nodded to the detectives who were taking a smoke break outside of the precinct and geared up. It was certainly easier to get around New York in a motorcycle than it was in her car. She let out a breath as she turned the key and it roared into life. Squeezing the clutch, she tapped into first gear and rode off uptown. Her scarf was warming her neck as it flapped behind her. She shifted to the top gear and gave it a little more gas. She felt the wind course through her as if greeting an old friend. She turned into a familiar street and parked.

"You're off early!" someone said from behind as she turned off the ignition. His deep voice always warmed her heart and made it race faster. He had a pie in one hand and a bottle of wine on the other.

"And you're back early." She leapt off her Harley and took off her helmet, unzipping to top of her jacket. She felt her smile widen despite all efforts to stop herself from doing it every time she saw him, or thought of him. "When did you get back?"

"A couple of hours ago. Just came down to grab some stuff for dinner. Alexis is just fixing up the table." He grinned and walked closer to her.

"How was your trip?"

"Uneventful. Lacking someone I could play with." He raised his eyebrows as she threw a glove at his general direction. "Lots of press, some photo shoots. The usual stuff, but definitely not as interesting as your work, even if it's just typing up a report. I know it's hard but did you solve any cases without me?"

"Oh please…" she rolled her eyes, "just wrapped one up actually."

"Anything interesting?"

"You know I only like the weird ones, Castle."

"I know! That's why I'm asking."

"If you couldn't be here for it, there's no reason for telling you now." She said, pushing the door into the building. She nodded to the guard and pushed the 6 on the elevator panel. "Honestly Castle, you don't need anymore ideas for your next book. You've already got it all figured out."

"So you think, and here I thought you stopped peeking at my murder board." He said as he wrapped one arm around her waist and pulled her close, giving her a soft kiss. "Hello beautiful."

"Welcome back to the world of substance." She whispered and kissed him again.

"Good to be back."

He pushed the door open to the apartment and the scent of dinner filled the air. His daughter was fixing up the counter for dinner. Four place settings, two wine glasses, a cold beer and a glass of water. It had been a while but she slowly adjusted to having a new makeshift family. The first few months had been awkward, trying to find a subtle transition between their professional and personal lives. As weeks wore on, she grew accustomed to having him around her, and soon she found her clothes lying in his hamper and a toothbrush in a cup. They were in no hurry to move their relationship along after needing so much time to admit their true feelings for one another. He kept a picture of her as a young, bright, optimistic officer that he stole from her apartment. She had found it on his desk, framed, placed carefully with the rest of his treasured photos. He had claimed that it spoke to him, reminding him of where Nikki Heat came from. She let it slide but took something back with her in return- a picture of him from his first book signing taken by his mother.

What they had built so carefully was almost ripped apart. He had disobeyed a direct order from her and chased after the Triple Killer on his own when he resurfaced and found himself, again, in a bind. She had the same all-consuming fear as she did the day she was shot. She had saved him once more but she panicked and then shut him out. She didn't want to have those thoughts of him lying dead on the ground. She was unable to shake the thought of walking up to that mahogany door to give the news of Richard Castle's demise to his daughter and mother. She had a few sleepless nights, and when she did fall away, all she dreamt of was him- lifeless and she was unable to get to him. Then in the middle of one restless night, the nightmare had taken over and she woke up in a sweat. When she could no longer take it and she was compelled to ride to his apartment once more, memories still fresh from that evening with Dempsey.

When he opened that door, he looked the way she felt. His eyes were sunken and he had a sullen look on his face. It seemed as if he had also spent a few nights tossing and turning. Not wanting to disturb the rest of his family, they took a walk, arguing in circles. "Don't you think I feel the same way when I'm on the outside and you're chasing after murders who look like linebackers with guns in both hands?" he had retorted in a huff. "Don't you think I'm afraid of what to tell your father if his only daughter get gunned down by some crazed lunatic waving a shot gun? I don't hold a badge but like it or not, I'm your partner. Do you think I like this feeling when you're off gallivanting after criminals who, by the way, have no remorse? For god sakes, I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you so forgive me when I say I don't want you to get hurt but I get it. You're a cop and it's - "

Castle had stopped when he found her no longer by his side. He turned, finding that she stopped in her tracks in front of Nate's Pizza Shack. "Sorry, what was that?"

"I said I get it, you're a cop."

"No before that."

"Uh…" he had a look on his face, trace back his words. He had walked back to her, amused, when he found she was caught on his words. "I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

"Are you… Do you mean-

"I meant every word and no I don't mean right now." He ran a hand through her hair, his palm cupping on her jaw. "Someday."

"We have a someday, Castle?"

"I'd like to think so."

"What else do you think about?" she lifted an eyebrow and grinned. They talked all night, s strolling in and out of the New York City streets in the spring air. They aired out their concerns and found themselves on a bench watching the sunrise at the pier, her head resting on his shoulder. Then she said those three simple words that had eluded her all that time: "I love you too." They weren't even tired when they arrived at the precinct that morning. If anything, they had seemed more focused.

She still kept her own apartment. It helped when she needed to crash for a few hours before she had to get back to the precinct. She had been more comfortable the past few months than she had been in years. Even with Castle gone for those weeks, dinner at his place was now more like a natural conclusion to her days. Both Alexis and Martha would call her to ask her over for dinner. Beckett would make it a point to get back to his apartment to keep the young Castle company. Alexis had found it easier to talk to the detective than with any others even before they had began dating. She didn't need a second mother, she was already raised and primed for real life. But what she needed was someone to talk to. Beckett, therefore, was satisfied to just be a confidant, an adult that she could talk freely to. She kept her secrets that needed to be kept, giving the girl time to think and work things out before speaking to her father about the issues that she was facing. That, however, did not deter Castle from pestering her about Alexis when he could sense there was something wrong. Despite all of Castle's groaning and moaning, Alexis Castle was blossoming into a beautiful woman, one that was about to enter into a brand new world. She would sometimes catch him looking in on her in the middle of the night, still seeing her as his little girl, five years old, holding his little pinky as they walked to the park.

Castle turned her thoughts back to the present as he gave her a kiss on the cheek, and he joined his offspring. She shook her head slightly and opened the hallway closet. Punching in the code to the safe, she tossed in her badge and gun she had been carrying. She would catch herself staring at his study sometimes, thinking how close it was, how close she was to losing it all. Martha opened the door behind her, striding in in her blue trench coat, spilling the secrets that she recently learned about her co-stars in the new play that she was in.

Beckett had apologized for missing the opening night because of a case but it ended up being a blessing in disguise. When she missed opening night, she missed the red carpet that covered the area in front of the Cort Theatre on West 48. She caught it a few shows in, laughing and crying with the rest of the audience, Castle by her side, unrecognized. Remy's had become a ritual after solving murders for them, sitting in a booth in the corner, laughing with one another. Her colleagues caught glimpses of the two of them but it was never concrete as to the status of their relationship. Castle had kept his gentle teasing at work while she taunted back as they had in the past. They maintained a sense of professionalism, albeit as professional as Rick Castle could get, when they were at the precinct. Sometimes the rest of her team joined them at the diner and there was a day that came when Ryan brought Jenny with him and she knew. They ordered food for everyone to celebrate their engagement.

The wedding was small but sweet, the groom as besotted with her as the first day they met. They went as each other's plus one. He held her close when he led her on to the dance floor, breathing in her scent. Her warm body felt right against his as they moved with the music. He felt something more than just happy; there was a sense of contentment. He found it almost shocking the ease of their relationship, and how quickly a year almost came to pass. Heat and Rook's relationship did not fare as well as theirs, still dancing between one another. She had threw a cushion in his face after reading the first draft of the fourth novel when she got to the sex scene, briefly mentioning that they would never be doing that. He protested and they ended up on the floor of her kitchen, doing something so much better than what he had written on the page. Beckett then warned him of the things that she was able to do with his dead body that would render positive identification impossible if she ever finds what they had just done amongst the pages of his book.

"Earth to Kate?" Martha piped up, bringing her back to reality. "Come sit. Aren't you hungry?"

She gave her a grin and put her helmet on the top shelf. Sliding the door close, she took her seat and as she put her phone aside, he began his usual tirade about her archaic phone and lack of 'apps' that she could have. She rolled her eyes and rested her chin on her thumb while she waited for him to finish. She unsuccessfully suppressed a look of amusement and caught Castle watching her and she gave him a grin.

_Domestic bliss. Interesting._

**END**


End file.
